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“He did it. He threw the sandwich.”

That’s how the defense counsel for Sean Dunn, the man who threw a sub-style sandwich at a Border Patrol officer in Washington, DC, this summer began the federal trial against him Tuesday morning.

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[-] klemptor@startrek.website 249 points 3 months ago

I cannot believe we're wasting taxpayer dollars on a ballistic hoagie attack.

[-] socsa@piefed.social 171 points 3 months ago

Assault with a deli weapon

[-] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 months ago

Top-tier pun!

[-] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 11 points 3 months ago

This is so good it should be illegal.

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[-] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 81 points 3 months ago

"ballistic submarine missile" was right there

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[-] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 50 points 3 months ago

I'm sure we all know the phrase that a prosecutor could get a grand jury to "indict a ham sandwich". It took prosecutors THREE Grand Juries to finally get an indictment for someone throwing that sandwich.

It's all a complete waste of time and taxpayer funds, and in any other point in history these prosecutors would have been fired immediately for incompetence at even considering an indictment in the first place, not even considering the possibility that they would try for three attempts.

[-] mercano@lemmy.world 59 points 3 months ago

They never got the indictment. The prosecutor had to downgrade the charges from a felony to a misdemeanor, which doesn’t have to go before a grand jury.

[-] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago

I didn't even realize that, last I had heard was them putting it before the third jury, and then that there was going to be a trial.

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[-] gAlienLifeform@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago

Actually, it's even stupider than that I'm pretty sure, two grand juries refused to give them an indictment for a felony charge, so they brought a way less severe misdemeanor charge because you don't have to get a grand jury to sign off on those, and that's what we're wasting this time on

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[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago

I hope a news outlet has the boldness to run this story after one showing DHS brutality, including the taxpayer costs, and before one about SNAP, healthcare and the shutdown. This administration is well past the point of pissing on Americans while telling them it's raining.

[-] derry@midwest.social 15 points 3 months ago

Dear Lord don't you know this will lead to ICBMs! Intercontinental ballistic meatballs are nothing to be trifled with. Next they'll add mozzarella to them

[-] 0ops@piefed.zip 13 points 3 months ago

ballistic hoagie attack

Band name

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[-] JohnnyCanuck@lemmy.ca 184 points 3 months ago

I hope the people around him never let him live a minute without being reminded about what a weak little boy he is for whining about taking a soft, succulent sub to the shoulder.

[-] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 127 points 3 months ago

Navy should give him a medal for surviving the first sub attack on US soil.

The Cunt for Red October.

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[-] Carmakazi@piefed.social 53 points 3 months ago

The injury was to the ego and authority - of the entire apparatus, not one man. They're all anxious to bring retribution and remind everyone that the enforcer class is above them and demands your cowering deference.

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago

That's a really good point. I hope he gets a medal for injury in the line of duty with a big, televised ceremony and lots of sandwich puns.

[-] EvilBit@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago

Kinda gives new meaning to the term “war hero”.

[-] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 13 points 3 months ago

Succulent...

Let go of my eggplant!

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[-] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 84 points 3 months ago

I hope the jury are all served sub sandwiches for lunch each day of this trail.

[-] nocturne@slrpnk.net 54 points 3 months ago

With extra onions and mustard

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago

A salt and buttery with a weapon for mass consumption.

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[-] Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip 16 points 3 months ago

They don't serve food to juries. If you're lucky, they give you enough to offset the parking costs.

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

Yeah, off topic, but it really seems like the court system has adapted over time to disincentivize the lower class from serving on juries.

[-] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 months ago

But you can’t opt out, you legally must serve.

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[-] Manjushri@piefed.social 64 points 3 months ago

As neither party disputes the basic facts of the case, jurors will need to determine whether the sandwich-throwing is enough to convict Dunn on the misdemeanor assault charge.

Even if it is, this is a job for jury nullification.

A DC jury recently acquitted a different resident who was also charged with assault for allegedly moving her knee up toward an officer while being restrained after filming officers as they made immigration-related arrests.

I see that sense is, ever so slowly, being restored.

[-] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 58 points 3 months ago
[-] Norin@lemmy.world 50 points 3 months ago
[-] Manjushri@piefed.social 30 points 3 months ago

That sandwich did not explode. It flopped limply against his chest just as you would expect a sub from Subway to do.

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[-] almost1337@lemmy.zip 49 points 3 months ago

New ICE patches: "Don't bread on me"

[-] fritobugger2017@lemmy.world 42 points 3 months ago

Video clearly shows that the sandwich was fully wrapped. Why do they need to lie?

[-] reddifuge@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago

Because conservatives are fucking snowflakes.

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[-] hateisreality@lemmy.world 40 points 3 months ago
[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago
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[-] toofpic@lemmy.world 33 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

US catches up - abot 10 years ago, a riot cop in Russia became a victim of an empty paper cup throwing. It was qualified as assault, btw.

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[-] TimeNaan@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago

/c/yestheonion

Or at least AN onion

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago

I relish this joke.

[-] Cyberflunk@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago

cunt got to testify about a fucking blt, and humans are being wholesale sold to prisons

fuck this cuntry. America is dead

[-] Wilco@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 months ago

No. Remember that they could not get this through a grand jury. The Grand Juries are practicing Nullification for these incidents because the public is sick of Trump and ICE. They had to go with a lesser charge for it ... and this one stupid case will likely end this prosecutors career.

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[-] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 27 points 3 months ago

"The bun was a bit dry and that was more than I could take!", said the frightened man in army gear.

[-] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 3 months ago

PTSD - Post Thrown Sandwich Disorder

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[-] vivi@slrpnk.net 18 points 3 months ago

meanwhile, there's another, actually important trial happening that is describing horrific conditions of ice detention.

[-] CubitOom@infosec.pub 30 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I'd argue 1st Amendment rights and the weaponization of the legal system are also important.

Are you talking about this trial right?

Judge calls alleged conditions at Chicago-area immigration site ‘disgusting’

We need to stay aware of how this and similar trials unfold around the country.

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[-] bluemoon@piefed.social 18 points 3 months ago
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[-] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

Poor little pissy pants, must be so hard to be a traitor when you smell like onions and mustard.

[-] Fleur_@aussie.zone 11 points 3 months ago

Waste of a sandwich

[-] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

A lot of us dream of using a submarine to attack our enemies. This isn't exactly what I meant.

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[-] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 months ago

It was a run-by sandwiching by a fleet-footed foot-long fling-er.

To be fair, the sandwich was loaded.

Lettuce, tomato, pickle, cheese, cucumber, onion, spinach, mushrooms, olives, bell peppers…

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this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025
718 points (99.2% liked)

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