I was all about Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, a collection of facts a lot of which probably aren't true but it was entertaining.
But this was absolutely the backup option.
"Oh, sulfates huh? Tell me more. Rinse and REPEAT?? The fuck outta here."
this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2023
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I'll forever be grateful to those thronal thespians of the page, who told me exactly whence the phrase, "Close, but no cigar," came from.
magazines
This honestly. Lots and lots of magazines in a basket on the wall.
'member Reader's Digest?
My parents had that but for some reason I chose the shampoo over it
My first language course
What the languages look like to me (top-bottom, left-right): Swedish, Norwegian, German, Finnish, English, French, Polish.
I know English and French, am learning German, and have seen a TON of Finnish and Polish stuff (mostly music lyrics). The other 2 are clearly northern Germanic languages, but it's hard to tell which (the first one can't be Danish because they usually use ø instead of ö, and I don't think Danish usually uses å, but the second one also looks like Swedish to me... so it's a shot in the dark).
You're right about first two being Swedish and Norwegian and half right and half wrong about Danish letters: we use ø rather than ö, but we DO in fact use å.
The only difference between this particular phrase in Norwegian and Danish is that we'd use an æ (equivalent of Norwegian and Swedish ä), making it "tildækkes". Danish and Norwegian are very much mutually intelligible, especially in writing 🙂
Gotta be careful reading those dr bronners, you might get sucked in to the cult
Dude wtf is that... I bought some spearmint toothpaste off Amazon didn't pay attention to anything, just wanted spearmint. Package came in and it was Bronners. The box scared the shit out of me so much I immediately through it in a closet because I was too scared to open it.
Haha that's fair. Honestly though they make legitimately good products and while some of the stuff they have written on there is a bit cuckoo, it seems well meaning and some of the ideas they present (e.g. taking care of the earth and each other) are actually good
When as a kid you sit in the bathroom and start reading bottles of shampoo and then cutting off the first letter each time.
"Shampoo" "Hampoo" "Ampoo" "mpoo" "poo" "oo" "o" ""
And for reason poop was like "Get me the fuck out of this body right nooowww!!!" after you read something.
"Wait. ALL this shit. On every bottle?"
Dr.Bronner's typesetter
eye twitching
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I had a dedicated place for comics. I weekly rotated the content and always had entertainment. Maybe I should start doing this again.
That Castile soap is great, especially for oil/grease.
Not only that but they are a fantastic company and treat their employees really, really well.
The first bottle I got had some wonderful shit about helping PTSD patients and research on psychedelics.
The one I have now reads like the psychotic ramblings of a cult leader...
Love the soap but holy crap the labels are wild.
He ate all the psychedelics
"God wants me to go home now"
What is even the point of bringing up mastodon in the title? This meme is old as dirt.
p e p p e r m i n t
I used to work at a book store and the smart phone killed sales of uncle John's bathroom reader.
FAMILY SOAPMAKERS SINCE 1858
DR. BRONNER’S
18-IN-1 HEMP TEA TREE
PURE-CASTILE SOAP
CERTIFIED FAIR TRADE
MADE WITH ORGANIC OILS
Ingredients: Water, Organic Coconut Oil*, Potassium Hydroxidet, Organic Palm Kernel Oil*, Organic Olive Oil*, Tea Tree Extract, Organic Hemp Oil, Organic Jojoba Oil, Citric Acid, Tocopherol
*CERTIFIED FAIR TRADE INGREDIENTS
tNone remains after saponifying oils into soap & glycerin.
100% POST-CONSUMER RECYCLED PLASTIC BOTTLE!
2-3x more concentrated than many leading liquid soaps, cleansers and body washes. Dilute with water. Clouds when cold. Put in warm room/water: clears at about 70oF.
WARNING! Don’t drink soap! Keep out of eyes. If cap clogs, poke it clear. Do not squeeze bottle and shoot out soap. Soap can clog and spurt with pump dispensers. Flush eyes well with water for 15 minutes. Consult a physician if irritation persists.
DR. BRONNER’S
ALL-ONE!
MAGIC SOAPS
In all we do, let us be generous, fair & loving to Spaceship Earth and all its inhabitants. For we’re ALL-ONE OR NONE! ALL-ONE!
OVER 150 YEARS & 5 GENERATIONS OF SOAP EXCELLENCE
CERTIFIED UNDER THE USDA NATIONAL ORGANIC PROGRAM
NO DETERGENTS
NO FOAMING AGENTS
Enjoy only 2 cosmetics, enough sleep & Dr. Bronner’s ‘Magic Soap’ to clean body-mind-soul-spirit instantly uniting One! Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! For facial packs, scalp & soothing body rub, add dash on bath towel in sink of hot water. Wring out. Lay over face & scalp. Massage with fingertips. Repeat 3 or 4 times ’til arms, legs & all are rubbed, always towards the heart. Rinse towel in plain hot water and massage again. Breathe deeply!
MADE IN U.S.A.
Dilute: Enjoy 1 soap for 18 uses! Shave-Shampoo-Shower-Bath-Mop-Launder-Degrease! Dr. Bronner’s Pure-Castile is the very best soap for body, home and Spaceship Earth! Synthetic preservatives? Detergents? Foaming agents? NONE! Health is our greatest wealth! Enjoy body rub to stimulate body-mind-soul-spirit and teach the Essene Moral ABC uniting all free in the shepherd-astronomer Israel’s greatest All-One-God-Faith!
100% BIODEGRADABLE!
DILUTE! DILUTE! OK!
One small squirt applied to wet hands or washcloth to wash hands-face-body.
Work 1/2 tbsp. into wet hair, rinse, with Dr. Bronner’s Organic Hair Rinse.
Dilute 1:10 with water for hand-washed dishes, best in soft water.
For laundry, 1/3-1/2 c. soap in large load, add 1/2 c.vinegar in rinse cycle.
Mop floor: 1/2 c. soap in 3 gal. of hot water.
Wash dog by wetting fur, then massage soap in for good lather, rinse thoroughly.
A dash in bowl of water to remove residue from Fruit & Veggies. Rinse clean.
All-Purpose Cleaner: add 1/4 c. of soap to qt. of water in spray bottle.
One tbsp. in qt. of water to spray plants for bugs. Dash of cayenne optional.
Shave face-underarms-legs: lather up 5-10 drops in wet hands, apply.
Visit LisaBronner.com for more uses!
DR. BRONNER’S IS CERTIFIED
Contains at least 70% Fair for Life Fair Trade certified ingredients
“The 2nd Coming of God’s Law!” Mohammed’s Arabs, 1948, found Israel Essene Scrolls & Einstein’s “Hillel” probe that as no 6-year-old can grow up free without the ABC, so certain can no 12-year-old survive free without the Moral ABC that mason, tent & sandalmaker Rabbi Hillel taught carpenter Jesus to unite all mankind free in our Eternal Father’s great All-One-God-Faith! For we’re All-One or None: “Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!”
Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! Teach the Moral ABC that unites all mankind free, instantly 6 billion strong & we’re All-One. “Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!”
From Jesus’ “Manual of Discipline,” based on Hillel’s Moral ABC , the Army of Principles of One-God-Faith, unites the Human race, as found 1948 by Mohammed’s Arabs in Israel Essene Scrolls! English by Soapmaker Bronner!
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Life today, when I've mounted the throne and forgot my smart phone
Life before smartphones, I'd bring a laptop to the bathroom, before that, I'd bring newspapers/books, and before that, theres radios.
Edit: Yea I don't know when radios were invented, I always assumed they were like ancient. Too depressed to think lol.
I’d bring newspapers/books, and before that, theres radios.
Wait a second...
Crystal set with one wire in the water?
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"All-one or none"
Yep. Used to be able to scratch off individual letters to alter the words. As a child I think s, h, a and m were a common target.
Good ol' days
peppermint is BEST Dr.Bronner's, especially in summer
I miss magazines in the jon
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