531
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Feels unreal. My friend spotted this at an airport.

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[-] [email protected] 139 points 2 weeks ago

This is a trap. They won't pay.

[-] [email protected] 73 points 2 weeks ago

100% trap. As soon as someone self-reports, ICE will be over there kicking their doors in.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago

Time to "self"-report Republicans or MAGA heads...

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I wonder how many burner phones one could automate to run down the list of Jan 6ers before the whole thing puckered back into whence it came?

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Ooo, good idea.

[-] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago

Definitely a trap.

Take your picture and tell us about your relatives. We will absolutely not send this straight to ICE.

App picture

App relatives

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

Definitions of submission (source: Wiktionary)

  1. A submission is something that you give to somebody to be checked or accepted.

  2. Submission is the act of accepting that somebody has power over you

I wonder which submission these fascists plan to follow-up on...

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Can we just feed them with thispersondoesnotexist shit?

Or even better, ICE officials

[-] [email protected] 103 points 2 weeks ago

Do they offer this for citizens? I would love to leave this shithole forever if I could find someplace that didn’t mind American refugees.

I know we aren’t terribly loved in many places.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

If you’re actually serious, and if you fall into the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you may be able to come to Canada as a refugee.

https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/refugees/about-refugee-system/2slgbtqi-plus.html

I’m not sure if the USA qualifies yet, but I read they’re working on it. That may be in effect already, I’m not sure.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

There's been I believe one trans person and one NB person so far who have claimed refugee status here..

Canada is lovely ❤️

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

You can tell I’m very Canadian because I read NB as New Brunswick and was very confused for a minute. Non-binary makes a lot more sense in context.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

There are options, but you probably won't like them...

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

The darker your skincolor, the higher the fuckoff bonus. Money for Melanin (TM)

/s of course. For me, at least. Sigh.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Its for undocumented people right? How will they find out your identity if you dont give it to them?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Its for undocumented people right?

Surely there are a large number of 'sovereign citizens' out there who don't have any proof that they are US citizens?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

You gotta start practicing your Spanish

~/s~

[-] [email protected] 70 points 2 weeks ago

The clue is: "you may be eglible". Turn yourself in, and all you will get is a free flight if you are lucky. To somewhere.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago

the flight and the cash are not real. neither is the cake.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Me eating cake: I knew this was too good!

[-] [email protected] 68 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

We pinky promise to follow through on being nice and not detaining/disappearing you.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

"Ok, yes, tRUMP is known for not paying his bills but he will deffo pay you if you report yourself. Honest!!"

[-] [email protected] 38 points 2 weeks ago

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago

Is there any way to game this and make bank somehow?

[-] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago

They are not going to give anyone any money. As soon as people turn up to cash in they are going to be sent straight to Alligator Auschwitz.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago
[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I assume if you were planning to leave anyway. It helps their numbers. It helps you. Like, maybe 20 years ago, financial immigration was one way. Nowadays the qualified immigrants just go elsewhere, lol. The USA is not that special and is actively hostile.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

If you're in that position, it's honestly beneficial to do so. I wish I had such an opportunity to leave this country.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds like a good way to have the ICE goonsquad show up at your house at 3 am. God damn I hate this country

[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

I'm a citizen but my partner and I departed for another country, how do I claim my free flight and $2000

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

bruh I don’t want taxes used for this

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I guess that could be an alright deal if you somehow know you were being kicked out anyway

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Everyone commenting that they wont pay or its all a trap isnt thinking about the optics and expense. Im not SAYING that they are wrong, or that the whole initiative ISNT evil (it is) but paying Ice agents, vehicles, camps, etc. All costs money (more than you would think) and makes you look like assholes (which they are). People deciding to pack up and leave on their own, withdrawing their savings selling their vehicles and leaving willingly on a plane costs less than the whole track down, round up, detain and deporting process and is considerably less bad for the optics.

My grandparents fled germany in the 30s back when being Jewish was becoming dangerous but they were still content for you to just GTFO. I wouldnt be surprised if it was legit... Still fucking wrong tho.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

In that case, what's ICE planning on using their new, bigger-than-most-militarys' budget for? I'm not implying you're wrong, because you do make some good points, but I want to remind everyone of the obscene amount of money they have.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

The vast majority who wont take them up on it.

If the per capita cost of deporting someone against their will is $10,000 and the cost of deporting someone consentually is $10,000 its still a win. Its just less work, every person who leaves voluntarily frees up the snatch teams to go after someone who doesnt.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

It could be legit and a peaceful way to go but so far that's not how this administration has operated. So it still could be legit but what a massive risk that is to take.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Money really is not the issue here.

We see authoritarian and inhumane measures to "solve", often exacerbate, societal situations that could have been dealt with much more effectively for way less money.

Being cruel is a means to intimidate the broader population and the people behind it are willing to pay a big premium on it.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

What happens if a lot of natural born american citizens flood the system by reporting 'themselves'?

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

They get deported I'd assume.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Dude, I still kinda wanna

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Now when I visit the US I only need to buy the inbound flight for me and my family. And I get $4000 spending money.

This will really boost tourism.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

What are the odds they just use this to find people to arrest and throw in concentration camps?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Scratch that, reverse it...

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[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Weren't there reports of exactly this already happening?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Shit man, maybe I should have done that when I left the UK. I could have gotten them to fucking pay me on top of getting away from a shithole

this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
531 points (99.1% liked)

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