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[–] 191 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Dude was wiping down his chair more often than his ass.

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  • [–] 73 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Well yeah. Wipi g your chair isn't gay.

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    [–] 129 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    OP should ditch their imaginary girlfriend for another one less annoying.

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    [–] 112 points 1 year ago (13 children)

    I could understand if it smelled like swamp-ass (sweat) from sitting there too long, especially in a chair made of faux leather, but it shouldn't smell like poop.

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  • [–] 105 points 1 year ago

    You know it smells bad when body-pillow comes alive to complain.

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  • [–] 87 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • [–] 86 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    guys, need some help here. my gaming room smells like shit. like literally shit. the carpet used to be grey, but it's brown now because of the smell. I've been wiping my ass on the carpet because I saw my dog do it once and it feels good. my mom has been complaining about the smell for a week now and is threatening to come clean my room. I can't let her see the room because I've smeared my turds on the walls artistically for my viewers on twitch. any help to get the poop smell out, please! if I can't get the smell out dad said he's going to force me to get a job!

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  • [–] 68 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I'l been sitting in the same (mesh) chair for >15yrs (Aeron) and have no such problem. That the OP's response to the GF's complaint is anger says more about them than they intend.

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    [–] 46 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

    TBH I don't know what that smell is but if it's related to sweat and ass fluid then cleaning should be fairly simple:

    1. Start with a 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on its side and soak then compress / scrub, this step should ensure no bacteria remains and that it dries very quickly for the next steps. You don't have to rinse alcohol, it evaporates quickly.

    2. Next we're going to try to counteract gastric and/or uric acids, which is to say hydrochloric acid, by scrubbing with washing soda. If you don't have access to washing soda then you can either use baking soda directly or turn the baking soda into washing soda by dehydrating it in the oven. Scrub with and rinse out the soda with water.

    3. Final step, to counter any other contaminants, rinse with some amount of acidic cleaner such as vinegar. This will also help remove any soda from the previous step. Rinse out all of the vinegar with water, it does not evaporate.

    4. Dry in a very warm place with lots of airflow.

    5. Wash your ass with soap.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago*

    Worked at vet office, anything like urine or feces must be rinsed off thoroughly or it will smell. Obviously soap is needed too. Enough water and soap will get rid of it, although other cleaners incl enzymatic ones will work faster. No matter what, all that cleaner and soap has to be fully rinsed or it'll still smell.

    He should powerwash it outside or at a carwash. Or, if in an apartment he could rinse it for a while in the shower.

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    [–] 37 points 1 year ago (20 children)

    Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.

    A bidet (european style) is best.

    no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    Bidet crew checking in.

    Mines got hot water. I don't mean that it's got a pipe for hot water, and you have to wait forever for it to warm up. I mean it's got a water heater built in. And a heated seat. And a hot air blower.. dryer? Butt hair dryer? It's nice, especially in the winter.

    Clean your butts, people

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I've got a cheaper, tap-cold only version (mainly because that's the easiest to install without running new plumbing or electrical in that particular location). Honestly the cold water isn't so bad. It can even numb things up if you've been dehydrated and launched a particularly stressful cannonball.

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    [–] 36 points 1 year ago (1 child)
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    [–] 33 points 1 year ago

    0% chance that guy didn’t shart on that chair.

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  • [–] 24 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    He should do anal tightening exercises every other day to cut down on all that feces leaking out.

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  • [–] 22 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    Simple case of bad biology luck or bad diet, resulting in smelly farts, combined with not standing up. Switching to a mesh chair would do wonders.

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    [–] 22 points 1 year ago (1 child)
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    [–] 21 points 1 year ago

    What in the holy mother of skidmarks is happenin here

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  • [–] 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    how the fuck a chair smells like poop?! Is he siting there without pants? Did he poop his pants in thr chair?!

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  • [–] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    5 bucks says he doesnt wipe his ass after shitting, or wash his ass in the shower, so has a perpetual skidmark, possibly even full blown melted toblerone.

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  • [–] 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    "girlfriend" Ha yeah right dude

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    [–] 20 points 1 year ago* (5 children)

    eating shitty food and farting all the time and not wiping your ass properly are probably the culprits so yea better hygiene

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    [–] 18 points 1 year ago (13 children)

    Okay semi unrelated question, but do mens gym showers usually smell like poop?

    Because I recently got a fancy gym membership through my employer that allows me to go to basically any gym in the area, and so far the shower in the mixed gender sauna areas has always smelled like poop, while the showers in the woman's sauna and changing room haven't.
    Might just be a weird coincidence, but it's been like 5 different gyms of different chains and I've been really bothered by it

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

    There are an awful lot of men that are so insecure and terrified of being gay/are so homophobic that they think touching their own ass to wipe/wash it makes them gay.. So they don't wipe/wash their ass at all.

    And thats why they, the things they touch, and the areas they congregate, always smell like shit.

    It smells like shit, because it IS shit.

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    [–] 17 points 1 year ago
    [–] 17 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    Aeron chair with a crumb tray under.the mesh. Empty the tray once a year and hose down the chair every other.

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    [–] 16 points 1 year ago

    Fake: op has gf

    Gay: he's fucking his chair?

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    That thread was a total mixed bag of people trying to be genuinely helpful and ripping on the guy. It was something to behold.

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    [–] 13 points 1 year ago
    [–] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Every time I see this pop up, I'm reminded of this chair I saw once at my old place of employment.

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