Asklemmy

The CEO got high on crack and was on a rampage, knocking shit over, yelling etc. and then shat his pants. It got worse when he saw that he was running out of crack and didn't have the cash to buy more, so he got online and made an announcement that Unity would be charging per install because he needs the money for more crack and hookers. Crazy day.

another worker fell over and hit his head on the concrete behind me. while I was checking his pulse, he died. creepiest day ever. and the only thing the company did was take a long lunch due to the EMTs in the work area.

Construction company we made a few foundation pads and the supervisor who was an asshole, came to check the electrical installation conduit, so he pulls his plan and goes to one conduit end that is supposed to go all the way to the other side, so he yells at one of the workers to blow on the other conduit and wants to listen for air coming out on his end.

Guy on the other end blows, nothing happens on this side, the asshole supervisor yells "Blow Harder" so the construction worker obeys and gives a big strong blow on his end. Well nobody saw this coming, someone had urinated in the pipe so all pee comes out and squirts his face in front of everybody.

Since we hated him we were all laughing our souls out of our bodies. :) The supervisor, didn't say a word and walked away furious.

I trained a serial killer. Hang on, I'll link to another comment I made regarding that...

EDIT, found it: https://lemmy.ml/comment/3725228

Another edit, just to clarify: I trained him at the job, not the killing part

Coworker (IT guy) went into a meeting room, turned on the computer, but not the monitor, and then returned to his office. Then he waited for another co-worker to enter the meeting room. The IT guy then remotely connected to the meeting room computer from his desk, logging in as the person in the meeting room - no idea how he got the password. He then made some very strange modifications to seemingly random employees time sheets and left a homophobic email in the drafts of a lesbian co-worker. Then he tried to cover his tracks by erasing some logs, logged out, and went on his merry way.

The changes were noticed the same day and I was asked to investigate. The only reason I looked thoroughly enough to figure it out was because the logs were erased, otherwise I probably would have stopped digging once the CCTV footage and time sheet modification logs matched up. He forgot to wipe the logs of his own machine showing the remote connection to the meeting room PC just before the changes were made. I was digging through his computer’s logs while sitting across from him, it was a bit surreal.

From what I heard, he gave no reason for why he did what he did. I don’t think he really had one.

Ok serious one. I used to work nightshifts in a gas station. One night, a woman turns up who was beaten by her partner. It's really something else to see someone's face that swollen and fucked up. Movies don't capture it realistically. You can get somewhat of an idea when you watch UFC, but this was another level. Heartbreaking. It's like her partner was trying to physically dehumanise her, she was really not looking human.

She didn't have any money so I let her pump $40 gas and she said she would pay it later (she didn't). I wrote the whole thing down and explained to my boss in the morning. He wasn't worried about the gas and said sometimes you have to do these things.

I offered to call the police etc but she didn't want to. It irritates the fuck out of me that people stay with abusive partners. Take care of you and your own, and get rid of anyone in your life who is toxic.

This was in an area where teenagers would turn up at 3am asking to buy lightbulbs, and not the frosted kind.

Boss forced everyone to come into work because she was tired of using tech. Wanted people to come in and eat ice cream while brainstorming with post it notes. Said anyone not there is fired.

Well she didn't put any effort into planning it, and it was very inefficient so everyone ended up using their computers like they had been doing at home. Just with more distractions and needing to commute. Not much work got done so everyone needed to work from home that night after hours to meet deadlines.

Well it turns out the guy passing out icecream was also passing out covid. Every single person on the team got sick. None of the projects were completed by the deadlines and the entire department was shut down. Everyone lost their jobs.

The boss herself is still unemployed over a year later because she is now disabled with long covid. Has a heart problem from it where she can pass out at random times. Can no longer taste ice cream.

I caused the loss of multiple millions of dollars in stock of one of the largest manufacturering companies in the world. All because I listened to my boss instead of my instincts. I got fired because the senior foreman "couldn't stand to look at my face"

Long ago at my first job I worked as IT in a warehouse. This story involves two employees, Retired and Pretender.

Retired is a retired U.S. marine, working in shipping, he also had permission from the owner to open carry in the office and warehouse.

Pretender was in sales and is kind of a tool who had to do all the cool things everyone else was. Three of us had motorcycles and would go on day rides. Pretender found out and less than a week later he had a motorcycle and wanted to join us (without a license). He sucked, and there are a few other examples but aren't the topic of this story.

Pretender overheard me and a coworker talking about the guns we had. Needing to fit in, he said he'd bring his to work tomorrow and wouldn't answer when we said he didn't have to and just to tell us the model. Sure enough, next day he wants to show us this obviously new gun that he obviously had no training or common sense for

We played along and then went about our day. Later on, we hear Retired and Pretender in a pretty heated argument as they walk past our cubicles. Then apparently Pretender walked to his car with Retired in tow, and reached into his car and grabbed his gun.

Retired (peacefully) put a stop to it, the owner came out to figure out wtf was going on, fired Pretender on the spot and let him retrieve his belongings before seeing him off. He also called in the non emergency line and had an officer come over to put a police report on file. Unsurprisingly, the officer used an older mugshot to confirm it he had the right character.

What were they arguing about you might wonder? Pretender was telling Retired how to package an order for shipping, Retired worked in shipping for years and was having none of it. A few months later the owner got a call from the state saying Pretender filed for unemployment and to confirm the reason he was laid off, with he had listed as "downsizing". We had a laugh over that.

TL:DR: moron coworker drew a gun on a retired marine why open carried and fortunately didn't die, but he did get fired.

So once a year there is a bonus pool at around $10.000 which everyone can apply for if you think you have the arguments to convince the bosses.

So one of my coworkers applied but instead of just emailing the boss, she emailed everyone. This was an email mentioning how much better she was than most of the department, and then throwing a few coworkers under the bus, to make her look better.

It’s been a few years. She’s still there. She actually got the bonus. 🤷🏽‍♂️

I used to work at a ski resort. The snowmaking system has guns that plug into pedestals that operate at 3 phase 480vac. One night, one of the groomers dropped the grooming tiller blades right onto a pedestal and mangled/shredded the crap out of it. This did not blow the 350a breaker, and it was still arcing the next day.

A startup I worked at got acquired, and we went to the parent company Christmas party. We used to go to the local market and get drunk, and this place booked an entire posh hotel with a free bar...so a slight difference.

Anyway, we spoke to a few random people, and ended up meeting one guy who was on his own. He had a few drinks with us, and told us that he'd been with the company for about 8 years as a software engineer.

The crazy part is that he was "unassigned" to a team. He had a manager at director level that worked from another country, who had never had a 1:1 with him and was chasing a VP promotion, but he was a team of one with no direct work. He did about a year of actual work, but got moved teams and no one in HR cared.

Over time, he learned that his only expectation was to go into the office, and to have a yearly review with his director - always cancelled. He came in every day, sat in an empty marketing suite, and played Unreal Tournament. He'd occasionally do his own work, and occasionally help others in the company out if someone needed help (usually helping some marketing person with something stupid like email campaigns), but other than that he'd been there for years, doing nothing, and getting paid well.

I can't remember his name, and have tried to find him on LinkedIn to see if he's still there (although not sure he'd have a LinkedIn if he were getting paid for nothing). The company is in insurance, and is a big enough name that he'd probably have a job for life if he could keep the charade up.

Someone quit by taking a shit on the floor, right out in the open. Fortunately not near where I was, but I commend them for doing what many probably wished about.

That one guy took responsibility for their own fuckup.
I'm sorry, I'm pulling your leg here, we all know this is too crazy to happen.

I had to unload a loaded pistol that we found in one of our boxes of potatoes.

Apparently we had to get potatoes from our sister store across town and the GM there had a ccw that he normally kept in his car. But this particular day his car was getting detailed so he brought it into the store and put it in a random box.

A guy who worked in one of our data centers was arrested for stealing passwords to a website but he was also providing free tech support to islamic extremists. He went to jail for like 3 years and then went to Egypt and hopped around from there. Eventually he became a high ranking member of the Islamic State. He was called Jihad John back in the DC days and it turns out that was more accurate than anyone realized

People in my workplace fight all the time, to the point where I've had to be evacuated while they settle things in there. One day, one of the workers was diagnosed with seizures and stopped being toxic to me, saying he needed help coping with having such a job with seizures as well as keeping it a secret he has seizures now so he doesn't get replaced. Real question for anyone reading this, what would you do in such a situation?