Conspiracy theory of mine - I’m European, so not sure if valid for the other side of the pond, but there was a massive campaign here to recycle the bottle caps by donating them for the creation of incubators for premature births. The local authorities placed massive donation boxes shaped like a heart and they were getting filled constantly.

Here’s the theory: When the campaign started getting up to speed, they started attaching the bottle caps to the bottle, because, I strongly believe, that out there, there is an absolute evil cunt who only feels something when a baby dies, so he wants fewer donated caps, because deep inside he knows people don’t care enough to snap the cap off.

Hahehahahehhahahahahhrha I don’t know what a thing is for

Cynicism, on the other hand - that's always good.

If you don't like the new caps then the company that made that bottle screwed up.

I love the smell of an amount of microplastics in my brainmatter that is equal to a plastic teaspoon in the morning. Smells like burnt toast.

And they also force people to buy plastic bottles? That is so mean.

On other news, there are biodegradable plastics. We should probably use those more. Sure we'll end up with biodegradable plastic in our bodies but basically it would be inert. PVA, PVOH and CMC for example are inert plastic-like chemicals that can coat stuff in foams. CMC for example makes the clear gel that you put on your hair as well as the gel-like behavior you get from various cosmetics. PVA/PVOH is part of non toxic glue. and what's in those molecules? Just carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, hydrogen, nothing more than what's already in our bodies.