601
Woke Cheat Sheet (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 57 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

An old boss of mine started most group conversations with "right then you cunts..." and it was set the tone straight away. No bullshit, no egos, and no dragging on the conversation. Top fella actually, one of the best leaders I've had. We were his cunts, and he was our better-paid cunt.

We had another bloke who was a proper cockney boy. If you were in his good books, you were a "geezer", and if you'd ruined his day then you were a "slaaaaag".

I'm guilty of addressing my squad from my very junior managerial position as "alright my dudes", which on the surface of it sounds very male-leaning, but I think since the 90s "dude" has become as gender-neutral as they come.

That, or you could go full Karl Jobst and kick off with "hello you absolute legends .."

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago

I swear I can hear your accent from text alone. I am surely wrong but thanks for writing that. It grabbed me.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

I've read their post in the voice of Butcher.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Never go full Karl Jobst...

[-] [email protected] 49 points 1 week ago

Limp Bizkit was ahead of its time for inclusive language. I identify as someone who doesn’t give a f*ck, and I felt very seen because of this lyric. 💜

[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago

Someone at work said we should use "folks"... But I'm not a Loony Tunes ending screen.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago

I call everyone nerds, and yall may think, not everyone is a nerd. Wrong.

Remember that jock from the football team, ask them about about sports betting. You will get a better lesson in sports statistics than you would by taking a college class. Everyone is a nerd about something.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You count every single protein you eat to get swole? Nerd.

You strap hard rate monitors to yourself to run a 10km? Nerd.

You go to concerts of your fav rapper and buy and wear his merch? Nerd.

You don't do anything that's interesting, but go to the screws and bolts plant every workday at exactly 6:30, wear the same blue dungarees, get off at 15:00, wash your hands with your favourite extra strong, lemon-scented, degreasing soap? Nerd.

You know which grain of wood you can glue together and which way it should curve to not trap moisture and rot? Nerd.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

More comprehensive, yes. But everything will only superficially resemble probability (or worse, statistics), without any idea zeroing on the real thing.

Alternatively, you can ask a crystal-hippie about quantum mechanics. Oh, well... we have LLMs nowadays, you can ask them anything.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

I use "hi team", "hi everyone", "hi all", or simply, "good morning/afternoon".

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

You think that picture is of my family?

Nu uh!

It's the A-Team.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Stay fresh cheese bags!" Is how I'm saying "goodbye" now.

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago

Another common one is "y'all" but I'm not American enough to pull that off.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Ironically yall is from the south too

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah the south of England. It's just another word Y'all gave us and then abandoned like soccer.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Man, (neutral), southern is preferable for usage of y'all, but most people can pull it off. Edit: somehow forgot to type the most important part. Have some god damn faith.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

What about the aussie/british “youse

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I always thought that was a New York thing.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I think it might have survived in the east coast working class.

It’s primarily a northern british (north of england, scotland, maybe ireland) lower classes thing. It got big in australia cuz well the original settlers were mostly just british prisoners (which is almost always lower class peoples).

I guess it also lowkey survived in lower class New England? Boston NYC?

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

but are those cheese bags endorsed by a dashing celebrity chef?

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

An excellent callback. *jingle*

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I’m glad to see a chef excellence comment here

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Isn't that the gay cowboy that has a tiger exposition?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

That the first Trump administration mascot. I'm surprised he hasn't been made wildlife secretary for this term

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I always lead with "What's up fuckers" when communicating with my nonbinary brothers and sisters

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Howdy, boils and ghouls!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

I usually use the most benign and conservative of phrases... S'up whores!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

For the formal occasion: “Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between …”

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

I always like to say "in between and beyond", for all our friends off the standard gender spectrum :)

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Even better!

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

As a joke, I'd probably say something like "and all the other ones". Hope that isn't offensive or something.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Risky joke - could get a laugh, could get you a meeting with HR without biscuits. It's worth a punt though if you know your audience!

If you make the joke a bit more explicit it tends to get a few more laughs, like "this one goes out to the tireless administrators, creative engineers, fantastic embeds... and Paul".

Only pull those stunts if you're happy to get the piss taken out of you in return though, else you'll look like a right tosser.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I'd only do that exclusively around people that don't think I'm a piece of shit. Otherwise, could come off as transphobia or something.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

guys, gals, and pals

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Oh, man, I'm pretty decent at this. Man is a favorite of mine. You may be thinking "that's not neutral". To that I say, yuh huh. Pardner, obviously said in some kind of Arthur Morgan impression (quality irrelevant). Buddy, if you want to be dismissive, as in "Yeah, sure buddy". Bitch, to be used with close colleagues. Also somehow gender neutral. Diva is pretty universal. It has the added plus as a quick little homophobia check. Girliepop, similar usage as diva. Pookie/ pookie bear, to be used with close friends and partners.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I normally go " what up fellow hooman"

By brother uses apes.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Gender neutral phrases are supposedly "woke".

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Beware, cowards!

this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
601 points (98.9% liked)

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