this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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Paul's is the funniest because he only got one letter changed from "Saul," even though he had used to be the biggest menace. He was a Christian hunter. Not like a professional one, more like McCarthyism but against Christians.
Saul was a perfect example of sin, and Jesus said, "Let's switch that 'S with a P, and he's all good. '"
(Please don't hurt me, I'm joking)
Edit: Wait, my bad. Jesus changed his Roman name, "Paul" to "Saul," (which was Paul's, Jewish name), and after Jesus died, when Paul moved to Rome, he went by "Paul" again. That's also right before he was imprisoned and executed and where he'd write parts of the N.T.
I had to double-check everything, lol. That felt like the mendala effect. It turned out he also spent some time in the Bahamas dreaming about some guy named Yosef.
A Christian hunter? Before Christianity existed? What?
I think you're getting your timeline mixed up. Paul converted to Christianity some time after Jesus died and quickly became a leader in the early church due to his prolific letter writing, with letters on all aspects of Christian life. Many of these letters (and a few that modern scholars believe are from people pretending to be Paul) ended up getting included into the New Testament as scripture because they were so popular and influential on early Christianity. However, these did not invent Christianity. All of these letters are to Christian communities that already existed in Paul's own time, and a few of them mention how he used to persecute Christians because he was a hardcore Jew and thought they were corrupting Judaism.
I always thought the timeline was really confusing. That was the narrative we were taught in church. He persecuted early followers.
"According to the Acts, Paul lived as a Pharisee and participated in the persecution of early disciples of Jesus, possibly Hellenised diaspora Jews converted to Christianity,[12] in the area of Jerusalem, before his conversion.[note 1]"
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Also every Hollywood agent with Jewish clients from 1900 until present day.
you tend to do that when you and your buddies are up to street crime
What's the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent meal of loaves and fishes?
taking multiple roman soldiers' equipment a mile down the road, destruction of money lender property, theft of grain
The destruction of the money lenders property and the theft of grain were justified imo
as well as fucking with roman military logistics. i support all three of the things i listed
Not to mention destroying the local bread, fish, and wine economy.
Yubaba vibes
I'm imagining a Reservoir Dogs scene playing out about the names.
Someone on another mission trip is Acolyte Paul! I assign the names, otherwise we'd have a bunch of Jews dead from an argument over who gets to be Acolyte John. So, you are Acolyte Pink!
It worked on Muhammad Ali too
Like Ging did to Wdwune in HxH
Even in the Bible they people with deadnames.