this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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Hexbear Proposals chapo.chat matrix room.

This will be a place for site proposals and discussion before implementation on the site.
Every proposal will also be mirrored into a pinned post on the hexbear community.

Any other ideas for helping to integrate the two spaces are welcome to be commented here or messaged to me directly.

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All top level messages within the channel must be a Proposals (idea for changing the site), Feedback (regarding non-technical aspects of the site, for technical please use https://hexbear.net/c/feedback), or Appeals (regarding admin/moderator actions).

Discussion regarding these will be within nested threads under the post.

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founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Hello users of hexbear:

Due to recent meta posts in our mutual aid community we wanted to open up discussion about the community [email protected]

We will never require explanation or justification from a user asking for aid in the community, and the mod and admin team continue to commit to not featuring an individual's mutual aid request to prevent unfair exposure.

In addition, we will maintain a strict "No critical comments or meta comments" on a mutual aid post.

This post is to discuss the mutual aid community's rule of allowing meta posts: mutual aid as a community, those making posts in it and those commenting on posts.

We are considering removing the exception allowing meta posts but wanted to involve the userbase before committing to a change.

Please comment with any thoughts, feelings, or suggestions regarding this change.

Thank you

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

I know that one of the primary pillars of leftist thought of any stripe is helping each other help each other, but reading through mutual_aid always bums me out because I wish I could do more to help those in need I myself am also broke.

It reminds me of all the heart churning stories on gofundme, people need help (people need a lot more than help but you know what I mean). It’s a shame our loose web of online weirdos can’t catch everyone who is slipping.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

No to all of the above. Honestly it feels like you're trying to fix something that wasn't broken. Was the issue of people scamming even that bad? Afaik all the posts I've seen in the mutual aid comm feel and seem legit. If anything I think we should probably have stickied fundraisers for people who're homeless or on the verge of missing rent. Putting all these arbitrary limits on people's posting feels like it's setting up the comm to die and I hope the moderators understand that people's lives are literally on the line with this shit.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago

Also I want to say something about the criticism, if you can call it that, I’m receiving down-thread:

Nobody brought their concerns up, either publicly, when I directly asked the community if everything was OK, nor privately, over DM. And then you don’t @ me, so that I can just continue being blissfully unaware of why it seems like everyone hates me.

What’s really cool about this, too, is when someone makes some balls to the wall dumb statement, like accusing me of having bought two cars or that I had my car impounded after I harassed the neighbors (where the fuck did the last one even come from?), I have no opportunity to try to set the record straight. And then it just spreads like a game of telephone.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago

I’ve donated twice, one of those was probably a scam in the early days of this site but I really don’t care what people do with the money because if I’m donating it on fucking hexbear dot net I’ve already made peace with it.

If you fear you’re throwing your money away or think this is some kind of parasocial investment instrument you need to move on, stop moralising, and log off.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 16 hours ago

I think things should stay the way they are. Maybe there should just be a limit on how often someone can post. It’s a bit unsettling to see some people asking for help week after week, it starts to feel like the help is already factored into their budget and not like an emergency fund.

I don’t say this from a place of ignorance. I grew up in deep poverty myself, and I genuinely wish for all people to be lifted out of poverty and to have all their needs met. Otherwise, I wouldn’t call myself a communist.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

If people think something is a scam they can take it up with the mods. No need to make meta posts. We're not going to shame the needy anymore than society already does. I don't want mutual_aid turn into some liberal means tested "hmmmm but are you really poor?" BS. Nope. On the other hand I think we are too small to be a reliable source of aid for people. I don't know what the solution is, but whatever is decided I hope we don't turn to the dehumanising judgement practices that cause this kind of desperation in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

none of the changes would be with the intent of placing means testing on users posting there, more so trying to standardize it so that everyone can get a fair chance of being seen there while trying to make space for non-monetary resources to be shared.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I think it's in a bad state and recently blocked it. A space where community members can help each other out in crisis is great, and while it sometimes functions like that, it's used as an uregulated fundraising charity just as often.

When we see people asking for hundreds of dollars in donations every month, we need to ask if that's actually within the scope of this site to handle in a safe manner. As it stands, I don't think it is. 100 % of the risks is put on the person donating, as that's the only way we can do it with the resources available, but that's an awful way to do charity.

At the very least, I think the current warning in the comm about posts not being vetted is not clear enough and should explicitly warn users that they might be getting scammed.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (3 children)

I don't see how it's possible to run a mutual aid comm with anonymous people scattered all over the world. Mutual aid really requires a much closer knit network of people working together in tangible non-monetary ways. I've done a little mutual aid offline, and mostly it's the combination of a plan and people giving the right aid and advice to advance that plan that really changes people's situation.

What we have is a charity comm. If we're going to run a charity comm some regulation would help.

  • Limiting posts to one per week, or month, per account to stop the competition for visibility and subsequent blocking of the comm by people overwhelmed by the number of similar or repeated posts. Hexbear is not a large community, and many people are now blocking the comm because it makes them feel uneasy.

  • Enforcing the use of an external tracking tool like GoFundMe so people can be confident when targets are or aren't met for a given post. It also provides a little bit of legitimacy and makes donations easier for many people who would be considering it.

  • Allowing people to provide suggestions for local support such as specific food banks or shelters: things that may reduce weekly repeats on the charity comm. Allowing people to suggest alternative purchases or actions, such as a more cost efficient alternative could be useful.

Regardless of moral judgements, donators need confidence in the system for the comm to function. Otherwise it's just a drama generator that fosters contempt and mistrust while also leaving people feeling abandoned. A couple of incidents have really blown peoples trust, and left them fatigued. The situation is not going to change unless adjustments are made. As for discussions about the validity of a users cause - evidently, even when discussion of causes is forbidden, people still seethe and it still seeps into and erupts throughout the whole instance. The amount of recurring drama from one incident alone that is taboo to talk about is enough indication that simply banning discussions isn't actually helping much, if at all.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly looking back over this thread makes me afraid to even ask for aid anymore. I had no idea it was this much of an issue simmering under the surface and that worries the fuck out of me because I rely on this place to keep myself fed. It honestly feels like fixing something that wasn't broken.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 14 hours ago

the community has ebbed and flowed with the amount of use and understandably so it is being used more than in the past. the intent of the changes is to try and reduce barriers to those posting in the community and make it more fair for all posters. this is a follow up to the change we made no longer site pinning individual mutual aid posts and dealing with the increasing amount of meta-posting regarding the community and those that use it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

I've done some self crit and no longer think meta posting should be allowed

I think the path forward dealing with potential scams should be the user who thinks someone is scamming should message the mods/admins, they can determine if the accused user should be banned, and then they make a mod post if they choose to ban them

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