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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Bold of you to assume I'm not going to go Voorhees on both of them, have an apple as desert and save the second apple for later.
Obviously, I'm not going to eat the other two people. Without cooking them. And with the apple cores, I can make a lovely sauce to go with
I'd rather eat an orange. Apple skin gets stuck in my teeth.
Non-murder solution:
Place and hold the apples precisely on top of one another. (Make sure your fingers are not in the way.) From one side of the apple tower, go horizontally exactly two thirds of the way to the other side. At that position, cut vertically through both apples from top to bottom. You now have two pieces that are two thirds of an apple each, and two pieces that are one third each. The kid you like best will receive the end slices without the apple core in it.
More realistically, disregard the stupid premise and make as many cuts as you need.
The knife looks long enough you could probably cut 1/3 of each apple while they are placed side by side, which might be easier and safer to cut than stacking the apples.
Bingo
That seems more possible than turning the knife 90 degrees mid-cut
Take both apples and attach them to a drill. Position the knife on apples so that it starts slicing a long slice as they rotate and run the drill. You'll end up with a long piece of 2 apples and 2 cores. Keep the long peels, give each core to each one of those peasants.
Ah damn it's one of those single-use knives.
Only if you didn't bring extra knife ammo
That's why you get the knife subscription plan.
Yeah fuck buying things for life - I am now buying things for death
Cross contamination there's a girl there you'll get girl germs
Not if they get me germs first
Thank you for your service and sacrifice, brave little Hitachi wand.
What I find particoularly annoying and interesting, is that most of those "silly/dumb" social network questions are engineered with at least 2, sometimes more layers, for the purpose of getting a reaction not really from the "dumb people" but also, possibly mostly, from the smartass that can't help point out something they think they noticed, incongruity and the likes, unaware that those are there on purpose to bait them in.
This case is a lot more blatant, possibly fake, but the "controversial" interpretation of stabbing one of the children is not an afterthoughts of the sick mind of us memers terminally online, it's probably the core reason the thing has been shared and worded that way.
I just hope my own reaction has not been 100% predicted.
With no snark intended I'm pretty sure thatsthejoke.jpg.
no. the meme was created to make you think of stabbing people, with engagement bait paired in. op adds the awkward puppet meme, as if it's a novel idea, but thatsthejoke.xls
the above commenter is pointing out how this kind of engagement just falls for the engagement bait, and describes the type of person who would do so
That's socialist propaganda! You see, you cut both apples in half with one cut, everyone gets half an apple and the remaining half is given to someone who struggles affording life.
(/s)
This is impossible as the apples aren't homogeneous. Otherwise: have one person slide each apple across the knife until they feel their side is fair. The slice and pick. This does not work here as there are more than two people.
I mean, while we're being pedantic, you can never cut exactly 2/3 an apple for everyone, down to the atoms. Even with homogeneous apples.
I guess the answer they are going for is slice the apples straight through, horizontally, 1/3 the way up from the bottom, so you have 2/3, 1/3, 2/3, and 1/3 apple portions. Then you give 1 person the 2 1/3 portions, and the other 2 get one of the 2/3 portions each.
But we all know the actual answer people are thinking of
You can cut them just like they are on the table - lop off the outer 1/3 of both the two as they sit. Two people each get 2/3 of an apple including the core, and one person gets two 1/3 apple slices.
But yes, it wants you to suggest killing one of the kids for sure. :)
Is 6% a cited estimate of the number of psychopaths in a population?
Only 6% solved the puzzle in the very obvious correct way.
Its the other 94% of people that are subconsciously fully distracted by the opportunity to do violence to see the clear solution that you should be worried about.
slice the center child across the neck to prevent them from eating any, making there be one whole apple for each of the remaining children.