i haven't used tp since the pandemic. I tried a bidet and I never went back
this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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Bidets are for washing and tp is for drying.
Some appear to be holding their shit in until the next pandemic. Or to use it as a projectile weapon in the Mad Max apocalypse.
Just get a bidet. if you are feeling fancy, get that one like those in japan. You will be converted.
If you got electric issues, get a spray jet.
Where do they keep it all? How much did they buy actually?
A few assholes bought as much TP as they could, also hand sanitizer and other items, to hoard and sell at exorbitant prices to make a profit off the pandemic. They made their homes and apartments into little warehouses.
I'm not sure how much we brought, but majority if it's still stored in our garage, don't seem to be running out of it anytime soon XD
Why do people hoard TP?
Like... So many useful things...
Water
Non-Perishible food/snacks
FM/AM Radios and Two-Way Radios
Satelite Phones
Self-Defence weapons (Or Firearms, if you are in such a jurisdiction that allows it)
Tools
But no, they went for the toilet paper... 🤣 🤦♂️
Can you imagine the world ending AND having a dirty bum. Some fates are just too unbearable.
You ooga booga throw shit at the enemy
Then while they are bamboozled, you go grab their TP
Obviously
Can you imagine, you bought a pallet of TP in 2020, and you finally run out in 2025 just intime for there to be No TP because of tarrifs.
The universe has a weird sense of humour.
Jokes on them, I stopped shitting years ago. Now I'm always full of shit
No joke, I once spent an entire day feeling like I was straight up gonna die. I thought I had appendicitis or something but the pain was nowhere near my appendix. Either way it kept me laying prone waiting for death for like 8-12 hours before I finally went to the hospital.
So I go the hospital, they run all these tests, Im pretty sure they gave me some kind of drugs in the IV without fully telling me because I remember feeling a lot better and having to try hard not to giggle when they wheeled me around to get scanned.
So they do all this stuff, and then finally the doctor comes in and tells me Im just full of shit. Like, literally, I was massively constipated and that was the entire issue.
I got back home and was in a ton of pain again, so I drank an entire bottle of Miralax and then pooped my entire soul and most of my organs out the next morning. Im talkin ass-chaffing farts
Thank you Internet stranger for the gift of your amusing poop-a-saurous story. It was just what I needed. 👍
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When I was a child I also had this, but for three days.
None of you can imagine the relief I felt when that enema worked. Hardest part was keeping everything in for 5 minutes.
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If you bought today, still during pandemic.
Covid is endemic now. Is there another pandemic?
Correct despite downvotes
Maybe im overthinking it, but couldn't it have always been deemed endemic? I googled ts and cant grasp it 😂
It's endemic when it's just always there, like the common flu. Even if the numbers fluctuate. When it first appears and spreads across borders it's pandemic.
Shockingly I am one of them.
But we didn’t hoard.
My ex used to work at a bjs and there was a sale the summer before lockdown AND we’d just bought a house so she had bought like 10 packs…. Had to fill all our empty storage.
Anyways.
October 2024 I purchased my first toilet paper again since 2019.
I guess technically we didn’t buy any DURING the pandemic…
And then there are big brains with bidets
As a bum gun user, this. Never need the paper unless you want to pat to dry, and then the paper is clean anyway.
Toilet paper is for sneezing, picking up bugs, or dinner table napkins.
You can get fancy bidets that have blow dryers in them if you want the drying part
As a European watching Japanese toilet technology I really do feel like a caveman sometimes.
Get one. Your bum will thank you for it
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No joke but this somewhat describes me... I never hoarded TP, but I tend to buy toilet paper in large quantities (too lazy to go to grocery store) anyway, so I think my COVID stash lasted longer than my apartment at that time... I think I only used up all of it 2-3 years later. My then-roommate even took half of my stash when he moved out since I had so much lol
70% of humans have never used toilet paper before.
Like living or ever existed?
In this thread.
Lol
do bidet remove all need for paper? I thought i still needed it for drying.
In my experience, yes it removes all the need for paper.
Just get right up sounds really handy.
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Like beginning of pandemic? Hmm 5 years is a stretch but maybe a few.
There were the opportunists profiteering arseholes that hoarded necessities in hopes to sell them marked up to the skies. I hope their butts rot and their toilet paper is itchy and annoying.
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