this post was submitted on 15 May 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I had a couple of new followers in bluesky. A new follower DMed me. He asked how I was, I said I was good. Then he asked where I was from and when I said I prefer not to say, he said he understands and that he wanted to know more about me. I told him my interests and such and didn't give any important information about myself. He too told me about his hobbies. Then he asked about my location once again. When I declined once again he said that he understands "not being cool enough to say where you are from". That was an odd thing to say. I got creeped out and blocked him. Is this normal? Why would anyone want to know about each other's location?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 59 minutes ago

Sure, it's also normal to tell them to go fuck themselves though

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 hour ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 hours ago

Yea its normal.

Where you from buddy? Catch me outside how 'bout that? /s

But like. Dude. In the past, people could only talk to people nearby. Now, you can just yell at anyone in the entire fucking world.

ANYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! How COOL is that?

What you from?

I'm from Eastern USA, my country currently under hostile enemy occupation. (Save Our Souls pls)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

Like Country or you street address?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

Most of my random DMs are some sort of business marketing pitch or slow burn confidence scammer. I wouldn't volunteer any real information about yourself until you get to know them better. And even then, especially the crypto scammers, are willing to do the slow burn because they're going for a larger jackpot of your life savings.

I tell everyone "I have a policy for never doing business with anyone I never met face to face."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah it's normal, it's one of the first things I ask or get asked when I meet new people online.

It's cool to meet new people from all around the world, so knowing where someone's from is really interesting and gives people stuff to talk about too!

Plus, it's very helpful, because once you know where someone's from you know their timezone, what sort of weather they deal with, you might have some insight into their culture etc to better ensure you don't offend them, or maybe you've visited or love something about their country so again you now have new things to talk about :-D

Anyway yeah, similarly with wanting to know someone's age, location is often one of the first questions we as strangers ask each other in online conversation.

Age is also super useful to know, are we talking to a 12 year old? A 20 year old? A 60 year old? Knowing their age will better inform us of how to have a positive and respectful conversation, it'll inform us of what part of their life there in and thus we can take guesses to their generational cultural norms and interests, if they're likely to have a career, or be married, or if they're likely still in education studying for their masters, etc etc.

You don't need to know an EXACT age, just as you don't need to know an EXACT location, but "I'm in my 20s from England" is a more than appropriate response :-)

Bottom line: Always trust your gut if someone seems weird online (especially if they're pushy for info you're unwilling to share), but don't assume they're weird just because they want to know some basic details like A/S/L 👍

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I'm in my late 30s from Australia, now you don't need to ask. G'day

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

I remember 9/11, but not the fall of the Berlin Wall. And I was about as far away from both as you can get.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

It was perfectly normal when he asked the first time, but creepy when he asked again. The “not being cool enough” bit was flat out rude.

Not wanting to doxx yourself is more than reasonable, and I’d expect an internet user to understand that. Blocking him was what I would have done, too.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 hours ago

I think the second ask and comment are suspicious. I can't stand people who act entitled to your information. I'd block them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago

Depends on what part of the world you come from, where do you live? If you provide your home address I can also read you your horoscope.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 hours ago

This sounds like a weird person at best or the prelude to a scam, stalking, or social engineering at worst. You stick with your standards and don't doxx yourself to passive aggressive douchebags, however insistent they may be.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 8 hours ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 hours ago

That make me feel old lol and bring back some mIRC memory

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 hours ago

American/Sign/Language.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

Your comments are tagged as being from a bot, was that intentional for this joke lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

No, but that's hilarious! I wonder if it's because of the stereotypical answer to the A/S/L question?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Hmm, can real users be tagged as bots? Surely they'd complain and have it fixed quite quickly?

I saw this bot reply and just instinctively downvoted and blocked it, can't stand Reddit/Lemmy bots that don't serve a useful purpose (like unit conversion or haiku's) haha.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Anyone can label themself as a bot in the Lemmy user settings, sometimes users do so mistakenly

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Aaaaand that's apparently what I did. My excuse is I'm old and an idiot.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

No problem, I've seen it happen a few times so I thought I'd ask 😄

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

The two main bots in my IRC bot network were named Man14 and Girl41

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago

Are ya winning son?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 hours ago

Age/Sex/Location

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah - back in the day A/S/L was asked so you had a rough idea of the type of person you were talking (typing) with…

37/M/India v 15/F/US would give you a very rough idea of the demographic the other person belonged to - and might shape your conversation differently.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

and as internet lore of old says: that 15/F/US was either a 30 y/o living in their mum's basement or an FBI agent

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 hours ago

Which was weird, because I remember being 14 in the late 90s, and EVERYONE was 14-16/F/Cali.

And I'd always say "Oh, sorry. I'm 14, but I'm from Ohio".

I wonder how many FBI agents I pissed off.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Guy from HK in my DMs trying to get me to video call him.

There are plenty of scammers out there too, but some people are just lonely or curious. They might’ve just recently got internet and the only interaction they’ve had previously is from within their slum.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Why would anyone want to know about each other’s location?

What an odd thing to ask. Where are you from?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 hours ago

It's a reasonable question but it's unreasonable to insist without providing a reason.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

"Not being cool enough to say where you are from" is a weird way for them to phrase it. If they're British, they might be saying it ironically (I use the phrase "well, if you're not cool enough..." as a reference to the old peer-pressure educational videos myself). Otherwise, they might be young, and clumsily trying to peer-pressure you, or old and out-of-touch enough to think that's an effective way to get a young person to give up information.

So, three options. They're either being ironic, clumsy, or creepy. No harm in playing safe and blocking them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

What if they're not cool enough to block them?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I sometimes like to know the general area someone's from (country or state), so I understand the context of their experience or point of view. It's not anything I would push if the person felt uncomfortable sharing. That sounds like a red flag.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 hours ago

Yeah, there are good reasons to want to know where someone's from, but pushing the issue for no reason with a near stranger is kind of weird.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 hours ago

Asking where someone is from is a common bit of information people ask/share during introductions, so it’s normal to be curious about that. It’s also normal to want to maintain privacy online, so don’t let randoms on the internet pressure you into sharing anything you’re not comfortable with.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

To me there is nothing wrong with asking or stating what country you are from. Unless you are from a really tiny country it doesn't really matter if you state your country. For example I'm from the US which doesn't tell you anything really about my exact location.

The US is about 3,000 miles across. That doesn't included Hawaii or Alaska. It's about 1,582 miles from top to bottom of the US again not including Hawaii or Alaska.

So my saying I'm from the US doesn't give up much really but it gives people an idea about something about me and my heritage.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

So are you from the east coast, or the west? Statistically you aren't in the middle, and you are more likely from the east as that is the most densely populated. So you are likely in one of ~10 states on the east.

Still not great for pinpointing, but a toooooooon of the US is a whole lotta nothing. Similar to Aus.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

North central part of the US

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago

I normally expect a country if I ask, but if they are American they usually give me a state straight away.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 hours ago

I mean, it is fine to ask for more details if it can help solve a specific issue, say that you ask a question about tax law, but neglect to add what country you are from, then asking for your location is fine, but just out of the blue, nah.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 hours ago

It's incredibly to normal to ask someone where they are from, it's just interesting to know. Normally it's just asking the country.

You dont have to answer at all of course, if someone doesnt respect that, then at least you know they arent worth your time.

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