this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
727 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

16217 readers
3133 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

RFK Jr entered into a tontine with himself. He's the only member.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Wouldn't it be an absolute riot of a "leopards ate my face" situation if he ends up croaking because of this?

To clarify: I don't wish any harm on his grandchildren, but this man's level of willful ignorance and sheer recklessness makes it hard for me to sympathize with any negative outcome he may suffer personally.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

During similar conditions in the past it has had around 100x the EPA standard of bacterial colonies.

And he's hypocritical enough that I bet he started an antibiotic cocktail before he went there.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Hope natural selection does its thing.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 days ago

To him: yes. To his grandkids: no. They don't deserve to get sick and possibly die just because their grandpa is an idiot.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 56 points 3 days ago (1 children)

the creek's bacterial counts—particularly E. coli counts—were dangerously high all the time.

Sorry for those children.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

THIS IS NOT ROCK CREEK FFS

Everyone including major media sources is parroting what RFK Jr. said in his instagram account as if it's gospel. Go to google maps. Look at Rock Creek. Look how big it is. This is not Rock Creek.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

That little girl looks like she's even sick of grandpa's shit. Hair is bone dry in every photo and the only one of her actually in contact with the water, she's kicking it in his face. She honestly looks visibly upset when he's dangling her brother over it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

In my state if you swim in any body of water it's almost always tainted somehow, maybe not with sewage but perhaps some other toxic pollutant. The only exception I can think of is the man-made reservoirs used for drinking water that people swim...

and pee in.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ what happened to water just being normal, dirty, outside water? How did we fuck it up this badly?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Because that's environmentalist extremism. You have to be reasonable and allow the rich to rob everyone at least a little. /s

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

even in a natural body of water, they have parasites in them, like amoebas, gardia, parasitic eggs,,,etc. because animals die and shit in the water too. and parasites love using aquatic hosts like snails and crustaceans, and amphibians.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Close, Indiana.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

Let him swim in the Seine!!!

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 days ago

The water is now less clean for having him in it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

So brain worms are back on the menu?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

he needs to replenish his intestinal e-coli with pathogenic e-coli probiotics.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Stuff like this isn't a problem, until it is.

What was in that sewage? Anybody with typhoid? Diphtheria? Probably not because vaccination and treatment is still over herd immunity levels. Then, of course, there were the kids who used to get vaccinated for Polio naturally by exposure to untreated sewage, and us rich countries having terrible cases of polio survival in older people because we didn't bathe in toilet outflows.

Thing is, it's a numbers game. The first hundred people might not get sick, immediately, but if you form two lines, one bathing in the sewage pool and the other bathing in a treated sanitary pool, run 100 people a day through each one and track them for two weeks, you'll see the differences. That's why we have scientific publications, so we can read about these kinds of past experiments and don't have to repeat them.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Can someone arrest him for child endangerment?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

this guys gonna get the fucking Darwin award if he keeps doing this 🤦

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

He's got kids and grandkids.

Darwin award doesn't apply here.

He gets the Herman Caine award.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

Go Darwin! 🎉

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›