710
I am 40 and I know who The Rizzler is.
It's me. Because I've got a bussin' gyatt. Don't think so? That would be Ohio, fr fr. ONG I got that skibidi rizz.
Is this what having a stroke feels like?
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Buddy here's goated with the sauce lk
no cap
on god, fr fr
Agh i am having to fight my instincts to downvote and I'm not even a prescriptivist dammit. When did I get so old.
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He is 13 and his wiki page has an early life section. ☠️
to be fair, it doesn't have many sections at all, so this checks out 😄
Madden San Miguel
June 4, 2012 (age 12)
Frisco, Texas, U.S.
Theres a lot to unpack from lil Gronks info there.
12yo and already have a "controversies" section on the wiki page.
I mean, good? Make mistakes. Be a kid. It's just kinda fucked it's all being documented for posterity
an American youth football player
So, a 13-year-old with brain damage.
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Oh man...remember when satire news publications had articles of bat boy on the front page because politics weren't as absurd yet?
I miss those magazines. I love absurdity, and I'd beg my mom to buy them for me. She wouldn't and said they were trash, and not real.
I know. Thats why I want them. I don't want real news. I never asked her to buy a newspaper. I want to read how Bigfoot was caught bathing in a bird bath in northern Canada. Yes, I was 7, and knew the difference between this and reality. But I love absurd fake shit.
I spent the 90s watching pro wrestling where an undead wizard faught his own long lost brother, who was thought to be dead decades ago after the undead wizard burned his whole family alive inside the family owned funeral home. Turns out his brother was kept locked in a basement to hide his scars, and now wears a mask to hide his disfigured face. And somehow, because he was burned alive as a child, he now is able to summon fire, which is just as plausible as his brother being able to summon lightning.
I know most of you don't watch pro wrestling. I get that it's not for everyone. BUT! After reading that summery of an actual decades long storyline, if you EVER ask a fan of pro wrestling if they know it's "fake", you're even dumber than you think we are.
Point is, I love these magazines, but at some point they gave up. They couldn't be more absurd than real life.
Absurdity is dead.
I understand the appreciation of the..."theatre" of wrestling, but I can't get past how much it destroys their bodies. I don't watch football either. I could watch fiction about both.
That's fair. Rowdy Roddy Piper did an interview in the late 90s where he talked about how in the 80s Jesse Ventura tried to organize a union, but it failed to materialize. He then said he has no medical coverage, no retirement fund, nothing. When the interviewer asked why he didn't self fund a retirement fund, Piper said "Look at me. I'm a broken down old man. Do you really think I'm going to make it 65, when they'd allow me to cash out a policy like that? I don't. I'll be dead before I reach 65, and not by my own choice with what I've done to my body."
And he was right. He died at age 63.
If you try to watch any wrestling program from the 1980s, every wrestling fan inevitably plays the saddest game ever. It's called "How many of the people on this show are still alive?" And the answer ALWAYS vastly is outweighed by the ones who have died. There is a scary amount of wrestlers who die before age 40. It surpasses football, basketball, hockey, soccer, baseball, and rugby COMBINED by a very large margin.
So I absolutely get your point. Personally I cannot watch any match with Chris Beniot. Every match he does a flying headbutt. He gets on the top turnbuckle, which means his feet are 6 feet off the ground. His head is around 10 feet off the ground, and then he dives forward, with his face being the first thing that connects with his opponents head, and Beniot actually did that shit legit. He had a concussion every single night of his life for over 15 years.
And people want to say that he was in control of himself when he did those murders. He had the brain consistency of a 93 year old woman with dementia. Thats not me being outlandish. Those are the medical reports. So every time I see him doing the flying headbutt, I think "That right there is 0.02% of what contributed to the murders." And I can no longer watch his matches.
How Ric Flair is still alive, I'll never know. He may actually be living proof that the devil not only exists, but also grants deals with the devil.
I’m under 20. I feel the same way.
I'm 29 and same. I mean even if you understand what they mean they often sound ridiculous.
We have reached the singularity. Congratulations.
It's me, I'm the Rizzler
Rizzle me this, rizzle me that, who's afraid of the big, Gronk bat?
Livvy Dun?
50s dude could uno-reverse card that shit by breaking out the slang from his own teen years. Get all the gens conversing this way in one thread just for pure chaos-sake.
We definitely had ridiculous slang in the 80s and 90s, but the truth is I always felt like the media over-played it trying to sound cool. And when we'd over-play it amongst ourselves it was as a way to laugh at adults.
Can you jam with the console cowboys in cyberspace? Cowabunga. Some of my favorite stuff had excessive references to skateboarding, roller blading, or other Xtreme sports (Hackers, anyone?) and that's coming from a guy who used to be a part of that scene.
Maybe I'm wrong. If I am that wouldn't be fetch.
Edit: my drunk ass doesn't know the difference between all of the 80s and 89.
We definitely had ridiculous slang in the 80s and 90s,
Dude, it was radically tubular.
It was phat. Raise the roof. You're bodacious.
Otherwise, gag me with a spoon because I'm grody.
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Stop trying to make fetch happen. It's not going to happen!
I mean, cyberspace is at least a genuine term made by Gibson. The rest...
But you're not jamming with the console cowboys there, as much as I wish that happened. I guess I should have hacked the Gibson harder.
On an entirely related note, theoretically there will be a Neuromancer TV show next year.
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At first I was like:
...then I saw this:
And began to realize that things were about to get bad...
I didn't realize the drama, the pathos:
The good times:
...and the bad:
After much contemplation, I realized there was only one meme I could post in defense:
I'm a simple man.
I see GROND
I upvote/compliment.
GROND
grond
I'm glad k-smog and batboy made up and are flipping grunts together again.
Yes, baby gronk actually exists.
We don't even know who adult Gronk is.
Im sharing this only because i learned it and im forcing you to know too.
Robert James Gronkowski (born May 14, 1989) is an American former professional football tight end who played in the National Football League (NFL) for 11 seasons. Nicknamed "Gronk", Gronkowski played nine seasons for the New England Patriots, then played his final two seasons for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
And where does he fall in the Gronk lineage?
Someone linked to his... ugh... his Wikipedia page (yeah). And it has that info. Feel free to look. I'm not doing it again haha
No
Fair enough lol
Isn't he a football player?
How the fuck would I know?
Don't worry we can't understand this while we are still in school.
At least “curtains for” would mean something to him though.
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Fo rizzle
Mr.Rizzlectric, send this gyatt to the skibidi dimension and have him Ohio'd.
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this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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