The Archbishop of Kabul
this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I see what you did there.
Screw it, I'll be the pope if that means I can release the records on their pedo priest protection program.
I'm votin' fer yours truly. I'd make a kick-ass pope. 😤
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and vote for you.
Eckhart Tolle. I personally think he has a neurological disorder but he'd make life better.
Robert Smith of the Cure.
that'd be badass.
+1
Well he did defeat Mecha Streisand.
Joe Biden
Pope Malarky
"You're the pope?? I didn't vote for you..."
- Benjamin Franklin, probably. Or whoever it was that said "Not everything quoted on the internet is real"
Honestly I don't care (well, beyond making this ~~pope~~ post), as I am not catholic. I am technically a protestant by heritage, but the truth is that I find even the term "agnostic" to be too religiously loaded to the point where I usually refer to myself as areligious instead.
As for the pope. Well, he's... there.. well, not right now. But he will be soon-ish. I'll just accept whoevers named announced while venting smoke from the cardinal thunderdome as being the new pope. And then he'll be there again.
Beyond that, he doesn't affect my life in any way. Nor do I affect his life in any way. Unless he accepts my challenge to an offroad and uphill car race. Yes, he's gonna have to drive the popemobile himself for this. I'll be driving my new AWD Lolvo. I'm sure it'll be fun for anyone involved, no matter who wins.
But having said all of that: I think Robbie Coltrane would do well as a pope.
Bill Burr
I'm thinkin' Father Guido Sarducci will come outta nowhere and sprint to the win.
Resurrected harambe
Lucien Greaves
Leaning towards Cardinal Pietro Parolin - Cardinal secretary of state.
I am nominating myself, being as I am a Discordian Pope.
Idris Elba
420 Blaze It
Roman, probably. Maybe Kendall.
Justin Trudeau
I think Bill Maher should put his name in the hat. I know he's atheist, but he got on his knees for Trump, so maybe he's willing to give Jesus a fresh look.