The guy who's already two thirds pope. Popeye of course! Popeye for Popey!
this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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Lol
I vote for whomever Francis had on mind (hopefully he discussed that before passing).
There's little chance of getting someone as decent as him.
Yes he had one candidate, if I understand correctly: Luis Antonio Tagle. He has a vision of a church adjacent to the poor and the working population in general though he seems regressive on LGBTQ. But going by the sign of times, it'll probably be Raymond Burke. I suppose Vance visited the Vatikan to pave his way.
Personally I concur Danny DeVito would totally be the man for the job. He would gonna get real weird with it and he certainly doesn't diddle kids.
Donald Glover
I don't know much about him, but he's always seemed super cool. I'm down with a cool pope.
He didn't get to be Spider-Man when it was age-appropriate and people were buzzing about the idea. I feel like Pope is a good consolation prize.
Weird Al
I thought the crowd favorite would've been Luigi, though I have no idea what the requirements are for being elected Pope.
Be male Be a roman catholic Get enough cardinals to vote for you
So you're saying Luigi has a chance?
Dang I might have to change my vote
I'd vote for him
John Oliver
I think we should reelect Francis.
No no no. You aren't allowed to elect dead popes, just prosecute them.
Bernie Sanders. Christianity spun out of a Jewish apocalyptic sect, so why not, in some very small part, bring it back toward its roots?
Vermin Supreme.
Gilbert Gottfried
Deadmau5.
The tapes of some of these Catholic hymns are getting kinda worn- let's get some fresh beats to liven things up. And a laser lightshow in St Peter's Basilica would help appeal to the "hip youths" ensuring a continued Catholic hegemony for the next century.
Satan. I'm pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.
If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.
Accountability.
Pope Ringo George
The pope goes by AD&D druid rules. The new pope is the guy who killed the previous pope.
So it's J D Vance.
Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.
I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it's possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.
The Gang Bankrupts The Vatican
theme song
"I'm not going to lead mass. Leading mass is Charlie Work!"
The pope elections always last long cause every man always votes for himself. Just like the pirate king of brethren court
Cue Musk with his lottery for votes.
I'd vote for Elon Musk as Popeking of Catholicism.
The same way Elon "improved" Twitter and the US Government, I would love it if he did the same for the Catholics.
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Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.
Can't
Trump! Make Trump the new Pope. That would be hilarious!
Do you think that is why JD Nonce was in the Vatican? To force the Pope into announcing Trump as his successor?
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Adam Savage
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