Just sharing in case it helps anyone.

I had a partner who constantly was making me feel bad about my body and kept telling me I wasn't smart and that they knew deep down I was a shitty person. But they said it in a way of "I will fix you so you understand that and accept how shitty you are".

At first I didn't believe it, then I recognized the red flags and broke up, but by happenstance they came back and put on a show I fell for, and then it started again but it took months for me to leave it.

I realized they made me feel shitty, and then reinforced that I was, and basically I believed that I was a piece of shit but they were the only person telling me the truth. They were the only one who saw me as I am.

I eventually was able to get out, but it really took a toll.

Anyway I just met someone who is the KINDEST person I know and while I won't thrust any responsibility to help me on them, they are already helping me heal. Maybe the fact they are helping me heal on their own volition shows how kind they are.

Anyway I'm a little drunk and my ex showed up with their new partner I guess, but it was an event they knew I'd be at, and they saw my bike outside of the venue, and chose to come in holding hands anyway. I left immediately and I'm home now but yea fuck them.