Autism

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DAE have trouble knowing whether they like things? (feddit.uk)

submitted 13 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

4 comments fedilink hide all child comments

My girlfriend will look at things eg. Colours, items, clothes, food etc and point out all the things she likes. For me those things just exist and I don't have much of an opinion on them. Like theres 100 paint colours them but they're all fine, how am I meant to know whether any are better than the others.

I am also not known to get visually excited about things, I got a skydive for my 30 birthday and I think everyone was disappointed with my reaction even though inside I was very excited to do it.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

My problem with 'likes' is that it's so context dependent. My favourite colour depends on whether we're taking about paint for the walls, a car, a new jumper or the colour of my finger.

It's the same as for music, my favorite depends on if I'm working, driving, relaxing or wanting to destroy something.

I really don't understand how people can have 'one' favorite and stick to it.

On the excitement front, yeah, I don't get people jumping around with joy unless they're a 6 year old getting birthday cake.... But then I'm British, and we don't do that sort of thing. (Edited for typo twice!)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 hours ago

After I wrote that post that is exactly what I thought! What colour do you like? Colour for what?? A room, hair, a vase, etc etc??

I have definitely had multiple experiences in my adult life where people expected me to be excited and we're disappointed by my reaction, I think I am very happy but not visibly excited even if I am inside.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 12 hours ago

Once I saw a categorisation I liked. There are three kinds of people: those who know what they want or like, those who know what they don't like and the confused ones.

In other words, it's totally fine even for neurotypicals not too know if something is better than the other, especially when it comes to subjective reactions based on subconscious or feelings.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 12 hours ago

I have favorite colours and types of music and YT channels but if someone asks me what my favourite food is, the answer is either: FREE FOOD or I dunno.

Excitement is a weird one for me too. Sometimes I feel like a lot of my 'excitement' is just an act so other people think I'm excited.