this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

Died running indoors with limited space.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

Balancing a Motorcycle Tire. Seems reasonable.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

Died eating sea urchins... Yeah that kind of tracks actually.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

How to measure your pants

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

Walking a Guinea pig… they must be absolutely ferocious little things…

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

"How to dispose of mercury"

Huh, that's actually more realistic than I thought

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

"Died unblocking my sacral Chakra."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago

I guess that's pretty close

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

how to: make hot chocolate with powdered cocoa.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

It's OP hitting on me 😳

[–] [email protected] 4 points 12 hours ago

An exceedingly dangerous activity indeed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 13 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

"what to do when someone texts you an apple emoji."

I'm extremely curious to see how this plays out.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

β€œmaybe I shouldn't have texted that reaction to his apple emoji, but it felt right in that moment"

Random excerpt from the late Throbbing_Banjo discography.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

Apparently "Doing One-Armed Pushups like a Pro"

So, focused physical exertion.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 12 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

That's so damn funny!!!!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

Should've seen this coming

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 15 hours ago

"How to confront a cheating husband"
That actually makes sense as a way to die, I just need to become gay now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 hours ago

https://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Poke-Radar

Looks like I die playing an old PokΓ©mon game. Nostalgia must hit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 hours ago

Comforting a dying cat :(

[–] [email protected] 4 points 15 hours ago

https://www.wikihow.com/Grow-Dates-Indoors

Guys I'm scared, my wife has been trying to grow dates indoors. Send for help, my time is near.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 18 hours ago

Lol at least this kind of makes sense: https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Clenbuterol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Ok, so I guess I'll need to move to the USA in the future

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago

Now you can avoid your death indefinitely by never going there

[–] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago

Wearing high heels while being tall.....

[–] [email protected] 12 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 15 hours ago

I WARNED YEH!
DIDN'T I WARN YEH?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago

How to cut wispy bangs. Well I'd gladly die before having bangs again.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago

Just wait until bots learn how to write agit-prop. We won't be able to keep up with it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago

"Thinking before you speak" is an important skill to master for all kinds of situations. It can improve your relationships with other people and enable you to express yourself in a more effective way. Start by using the THINK acronym to decide if what you have to say is True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, or Kind. Then,

Should maybe have yelled "Don't Remove The Pole! The building will collapse!" But instead I was using the T.H.I.N.K acronym.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 22 hours ago

I spent way to long thinking it was "How to make Scorpion man miss you". Thought I was gonna get stung.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 23 hours ago

Yes, dying from the most dangerous of human endeavors: small talk.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago

Celebrating Onam apparently. I didn't know that existed even, but it seems so fun it's deadly.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

How to run away from an abusive home.

I was already planning to run away from an abusive home.

This is horrifying

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

I managed to get this: How to Fire a Gun.

So it's at least plausible.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Middle-School-Crush-to-Like-You

UUUHHHHH


monday


inhales

I like coming here.

In break times, i often get to see her, with her long skirt, her adorable jacket, and her soft, long, brown hair.

She is rather tall in her friend group, she must be 13, maybe 14...

It doesn't stop me for loving her even if i am in my 40's.

Nothing can.

It's not a barbaric attraction like thoses weird pedophiles.

My love is pure.

She's made to be mine.

"I want to be with her together."


tuesday


She just leaved the school to buy her meal.

Today she did attach her hairs into two braids, with ribbons at the ends.

She is so cute.

"I absoluetly want to be with her"


She seems to be alone right now.

"Is it my chance?"

Slowly, gently, silently, I put some chloroform on the piece of cotton.

Softly, purely, nicely, I approach her from behind.

Strangely, surprisingly, quickly, she does a barrel roll and a backflip, and face me with an assault rifle.

Rougly, straightly, immediatly, she say: "ladies and gentleman, we got him"

Painly, horribly, trementously, i get perfored multiple times by supersonic projectiles, and fall on the ground.

"aww man"

I just died trying to get a middle school crush to like me.


Guys don't call the police it's for the thing

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