Cat girls are not furries. And I'm willing to die on this hill.

And pasta has been made

ain't like she hadn't been there herself back in the day

The Bible says everyone goes to heaven at the same time.

I don’t think that’s clear in the text, and that’s historically been a major point of theological contention. I think the debate in the US 1800s over “soul sleep” and the affiliated quasi-cults that sprung up after the Millerite movement (Seventh Day Adventists, Jehovahs Witnesses) had very strong opinions on whether you go to heaven immediately, stay “asleep” in the ground until God starts resurrecting people, wait in some kind of cosmic waiting room for the resurrections, or if you are just flat out dead until God wakes you up. (Of course, JW’s are so committed to bad exegesis that they’ll die rather than receive a blood infusion, because “don’t eat animal blood” in the ritual purity laws of course means “don’t receive human blood infusions.”)

Think about Mormon baptism for the dead. Those people aren’t in heaven or hell (because at least the lower kingdoms of heaven aren’t even set up yet - all of us non-Mormons are going to be hanging out on Earth 2.0 when we die). Mormons are experts at genealogy because they’re trying to make sure that every great-great-great-great-grandparent they have gets a chance at salvation.

Yeah, they hadn't figured out relativity yet back then. The soul departs the body at the speed of light, meaning everyone who does reaches heaven instantly. Since it's so far away, from our perspective, it takes essentially forever thanks to time dilation.

You can trust me, I have a PhD in bullshit.

heaven is not a place you go. it's a state of you, your surroundings and the world. we create it not get taken to it. that's the hard part people don't get. NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE US, WE WILL NOT BE MAGICALLY TELEPORTED ANYWHERE

Yes, that's what purgatory is for, it's basically a waiting room before heaven

I think that's the Dispensationalist view, but I'm not sure how much of that is explicitly supported by Biblical text. Someone could correct me if I'm wrong.

church

do the cross

Me, stripping off and getting hard

How do they know when that time is without having first witnessed some ball gobbling?

Do we just have ancestors popping in for a check and immediately turning away embarrassed all the time?

Maybe they have to ask permission at the family spying desk and the attendant will just shake their head and say "umm... Nows really not the best time. Gobble gobble if you catch my drift."

I can't imagine how many embarrassing reunions there would be in heaven, or maybe hell is just filling to the brim lol

Or once you see the private lives of every person, all the time, you quickly understand that everyone does weird shit in private and voyeurism just loses its novelty entirely. People fucking or picking their nose will be no more interesting that someone walking down the street.

Yeah but my grandmother was 104 when she died. She married my grandfather when she was in her twenties and I really don't think she was really all that bothered about him it was just the done thing back then.

She definitely would take the opportunity to be judgy, while at the same time technically passing the requirements by her own standards to be in heaven.

"That's my girl, just like I taught her!"

And for us dumbass's, what was the answer?