beep boop I am indeed a homosapian descendant of the primates. How may I assist you with your joy today?

Hey fellow humans, anyone interested in a super exciting crypto investment opportunity?

What happens if a human is deliberately trying to fail the Turing test? Are we better at pretending to be machines than they are pretending to be human?

You'll never take me ~~online~~ alive!

Fuck off

I fail the human test everyday by being a fox 🦊 I’m just not clever tho 😭

That's me everytime I use google now.

because i realized that i could draw a red circle around my guitar

🖕🖕

Awe farts!

miku miku oo wee oo

No.

I AM ERROR

I can correctly compute that 12345678+87654321 is 99999999, and that 111111111*111111111 is 12345678987654321. Maybe I am a bot?

Well, no matter. I'm going to return to reading every Wikipedia article sorted lexicographically.

beep boop

Beep boop beep- I mean... a frappecino please.

I'm a 30 year old virgin who lives in his parent's basement.

I identify as an Electronic-American, and my pronouns are buzz/click.

Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?

Oops I mean, hurrr hurr, look at me doing human things.

If you're missing the hard drive rails for an iBook G3 (500MHz late 2001, unsure if this is true for other revisions) so you just use some paper to stop the drive from shorting out the motherboard then you need to be careful if the drive tilts towards the front of the laptop because it gets caught on a transistor under the paper and would probably snap it off the board if you pushed too hard.

That's verifiably true information that's probably never been posted online before, so all you need to do is verify that it's true with your own hardware and then prove that it did not exist anywhere before this comment and then you'll prove I'm not a bot.

This should be how captchas work from now on and someone has to manually verify and approve you I bet that would be super fast and reliable

01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110100

I am a bot.

fuck, let me try that again ...

Welcome dead internet, to the I am a theory.

[This action was performed by a human]

Oh wow, I never thought of it that way!

No

Beep boop I am not a bot beep beep biiiiiiiiiii

I feel I'd be inclined to help the turtle in the scenario you describe; but since your question implies I'm not doing it, I guess I must be in a hurry for something really important. Or maybe there's a bunch of bikers speeding between me and the turtle and I can't get to it without getting crushed. Or maybe it's an extremely creepy and off-putting turtle, like Morla from the Neverending Story.