this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 25 minutes ago

I think if you were like a handler, close to the deed but not likely to immediately go down, and that the hit was obviously a hit, and it generated the kind of story Iran could package to their benefit, then they would pay you.

Don't be a spastic killer, don't leave any questions, get a clean kill and get out, and I'd imagine most countries would pay up. If it works once they'll want it to work again.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 hours ago

You won't be able to, Honey will swap out the referral code before you have a chance to collect.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 hours ago

Is there a Kickstarter I can contribute to?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 hours ago

go to Iran and be like pay up?

I don't think that it works like a Hollywood comedy, where 1000 candidates pop up and each one claims "It was me, it was me!".

A serious candidate would go there first, make friends, meet the right people. You would make sure that you know where to go afterwards etc. and you want that they know exactly who gets the bounty, before things happen.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

There is zero chance anyone who followed through on that would be able to collect a bounty.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

McDonald's could claim the money after his massive coronary due to his Big Mac addiction.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Disney will claim all your belongings since you bought a disney world ticket that one time. Rules are rules.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

Or have a free Disney+ trial account from 6 years ago

[–] [email protected] 60 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

I suppose if you were able to escape the country and make your way there, they’d provide safe harbor. But the USA would never stop hunting you and they’d have no issue breaking into a sovereign nation to get you.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

They wouldn't even break in to get you. They'd just bomb the six areas you might be hanging out in

[–] [email protected] 24 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

So they would be rich the rest of their life?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 13 hours ago

Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

I bet you could fake your own death pretty easy if you had 80 million to throw around. You just gotta survive until then.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Most likely outcome (assuming you make it to Iran) is they make a big show of congratulating you and setting you up with a super lavish lifestyle that is totally not a compound that you are definitely allowed to leave if you want but why would you want to with all the people trying to kill you

[–] [email protected] 18 points 13 hours ago

Pretty much my assessment.

I can have 80 million dollars but I have to live my life in constant fear and in Iran.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 12 hours ago

You probably don't want to stay in one place. The US would quickly lob a missile to wherever you are. $80m probably wouldn't make up for being on the run for the rest of your life in a country that will probably be turned into a war zone.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Bold of you to assume they'd actually pay.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

I mean they might pay, but probably not 80 million. And most likely not a lump sum.

Maybe they'd give you a hideout with a decent allowance every X days, and you have to promise to to never criticize or insult their government, and any internet/phone access will probably be monitored (by the Iranians).

And its not gonna be because they care about you, but just to keep you alive as their pet because its kinda like a middle finger to the US. But you are just a pet to them, not some hero.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago

I think they'd set you up pretty nice - nice digs and lots of play money. Not 80 mil, but enough to not work and have some real fun. Taking out the leader of a sworn enemy is doing them a solid. Fully agreed you'd be their pet for life though

[–] [email protected] 8 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Patsies do the deed, the organizer collects the reward. It wouldn't be a spectacle back in Iran, they would claim to have no knowledge lest there be retaliation, and also for that reason it wouldn't be paid by the Iranian government, it would be paid by Iranian financiers and business people, backers of the Immamate, likely even by people living outside Iran, same people who are paying bounties to Hamas for killing Jews, for example, various Iranian-alligned "foundations"; might get some in gold, some in Bitcoin, some in various currencies, probably some even in USD. The person would hole up in some Iranian proxy state, and live out their days lavishly in like Qatar or something, maybe in Pakistan. It's not like a free for all prize.

Further, this kind of thing might be served ice cold, when nobody expects it. There's still people trying to kill Salman Rushdie for Iran and his bounty is only $3 million and has stood for forty years. Iran doesn't have elections every four years with foreign policy swinging around like monkeys from a tree like some fucking people I could mention, they play a long game.

Fun question.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

Probably a “friend” of the Iranian state elsewhere in the Middle East. I’m sure there are Saudi finance people who would happily take a 20% commission on passing that payment along.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

Lol, the CIA will most definitely have a spy within the ranks of the Iranian government, and even if you somehow avoid the initial identification, the spies would be able to identify you and you get a KGB-style assassination against you (aka: poisoning, or maybe falling out of a window, depending on the agent's mood), or just a traditional US-style drone strike.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (6 children)

How much is 80 million Iranian dollars when converted to USD?

Edit: 1 Iranian rial is 0.000024 of a dollar. lol that's not even $2000. I couldn't even pay a month's rent with that bounty.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

Iranian dollars

LMAO

[–] [email protected] 53 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

It's in American. That being said, it seems it wasn't anything official, just a guy at a funeral that said if every Iranian put aside 1 American dollar, they could pony up a 80 million bounty. The news did the rest.

https://globalnews.ca/news/6370930/trump-bounty-reality-check/

[–] [email protected] 13 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

And do think. That guy on the roof was inches away last summer.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Crazy that the world's history was almost changed by some deranged idiot with bad aim. Makes you wonder if he was a time traveler trying to save the ww3 timeline and got brain damaged by the time travel machine or smt. Idk would make a good movie.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago

That's how these things go.

Deranged idiots changing the course of history, not time travel, time travel is not possible now or ever. You can go forward real slow if you time it right, but can't go back, not even a little.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 14 hours ago

A true patriot.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

To be fair, I'd take a grilled cheese.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 14 hours ago

Grilled cheese and no Trump?

versus no grilled cheese and Trump?

the choice seems obvious.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Dude......why is your rent 2K+?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I live in California and it's 2025?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 13 hours ago

Damn. My rent is 800, and it feels way too high. Should be like 600.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago

It's 2025 and housing costs have been rising for ages now? That's not that unusual, especially in a city or if you're renting a decent house.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 15 hours ago

Like a buck-27.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago

🤣😂🤣 I didn't even realize!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Where did you hear about the "80 million bounty"? I found this link referring to a $3 million (USD) bounty.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

Oh that's an old one.