It has been a fair while since I last graced this comm with my throbbing, pulsating intellect and for that I will apologise. Last time, I dug too deep too fast and suffice to say powerful men had some very pointed questions (and implements) for me. Nevertheless, I have dragged myself free of their clutches only to find my genius is once more needed. Specifically I recieved a letter this morning that read:

Dear [REDACTED],

If you are so smart, how come you don't know how aliens built the pyramids?

Loser!

Sincerely, That Bloke on the TV With the Funny Hair

How did the aliens build the pyramids, eh?

I think I can solve this.

I am not an architect, nor am I capable of lifting a single brick higher than about stomach height, so I sought out people who work in the relevant fields; bricklayers, construction workers, Minecraft letsplayers. Worldly men with much expertise.

I asked them the same question, "How would you build a pyramid?" to which I got many variations on the same response, "please go away, I'm trying to have my lunch break here." although most were somewhat more colourful in how they stated it.

Defeated, I returned to my lair, where it hit me. The trap I'd primed in case the men in black came back, but also a realisation of how the pyramids were built.

This is a complex process, so I have attached some diagrams to illustrate my points, please be aware these are infact artists impressions and not real photos of the pyramids.

OK, ready.

They started from the bottom and worked their way up (see image below).

How do I know this? Simple.

If they'd started at the bottom and worked their way down, the pyramids would either look like this:

Or this:

Now, I initially assumed I had seen pictures of that last one, but experts in the field suggest that this was the byproduct of the strange illusion known as the pyramid being further away in the photo.

If they started at either end and worked their way to the middle, they look like this:

Therefore they must have started from the bottom.

"Oh great one, couldn't they also've started from the middle and worked their way out?" you, a fool, ask. To that I ask, "How did they keep it in the air long enough to slide the bottom in smarty pants? huh, huh."

I rest my case.

Good luck my friends, and goodbye for now.