this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Fat fuck has it coming. He knows what he did. That bastard called me a HO not once but THREE TIMES.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

And he's been stealing my cookies for years!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

And yer mum's for a generation more.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Not to mention coming down her chimney.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago

You're drawing North Pole as an island? It's obviously a vertical stick, hence the name.
Pole accident

[–] HobbitFoot 22 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

NORAD tracks Santa every year to make sure he doesn't get into any funny business.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Why not just nuke the North Pole from orbit? It's the only way to really be sure the elves don't replace Santa with a murderous robot version.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Because that would require an extremely high orbital inclination. The vast majority of weapons packages in space would be angled more like Starlink to cover only habitable areas of the world.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Santa lives on the north pole, sounds habitable to me.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

They'll just relocate to Neptune. It's basically like playing whack-a-mole.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You come for the Kring, you best not miss.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

So don't use a PAC-3, its length of reach is clearly weak and flaccid.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

Each missile should have "Happy Holidays" painted on the side.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's hard to tell but he's in one of Santa's presents.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Dang he's getting good at this

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

All joking aside I want to immolate whoever came up with this war on Christmas shit. Christmas is an ever growing abomination of a holiday that just grows and grows, and frankly speaking I would prefer not to have consumerist embodiment of the fucking Tyranids expand into August.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The war on Christmas will continue until it ends its illegal occupation of November.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I enjoy Christmas and Halloween cultures equally though I know that can be a perilous position to hold these days.

Now look I understand the view of Whole November supporters but that ship has sailed after the Black Friday Accord was signed. That is the decision and rules all sides agreed to live by. That said the Thanksgiving Parallel CANNOT be crossed without decisive response.

But don't even get me started on the Solstice-Equinox Purists

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I'm inclined to push Christmas out of November entirely in response to hearing Mariah Carey in stores in October. Concessions only embolden them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Gonna get credible for a minute, all made the fuck up

There are two Christmasses in my eyes. "Corporate Christmas", with ever expanding Black Friday sales and Mariah Carey hitting FM radio before Halloween is even over (no really it was a thing in my area one year). Widely seen as a big cash grab, companies are seeing what they can get away with. It's super annoying but people can't really do a lot about it other than saying it's too soon and vote with their wallet, but it takes time to change things that way.

Then there is the more traditional "Jesus Christmas" which has been about the same over the years but has recieved some pushback from secular people. You can put Santa everywhere to represent Christmas but not a nativity scene because it's considered religious. It has legal precedent so it's easier to do something about it but it doesn't stop Corporate Christmas people.

And that pisses traditional people off because depite disliking Corporate Christmas more than most they get targeted anyway. So they say there's a war on Christmas and people respond with "what are you talking about (Corporate) Christmas is as big as it's ever been" and they're both right

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I'm not sure they could shoot Santa down, the bells on the reigns can be used for chaff so radar tracking is out, I doubt the IR signature of some deer and a large man in a snow suit are high enough for a missel to track. That leaves emi once Santa turns off his transponder norad won't be able to track him.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Ha, as if that'll stop him There's a reason why Rudolf got a red nose.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

how can that bitch breathe

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

That’s Ok, he doesn’t visit the US anymore anyhow, something about us having enough Coal for the entire world.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Santa Flies with an f35 escort to penetrate contested airspace.