this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2024
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parenting

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

You got it!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

We're 2.5 months out from the first kid. I think we're very well prepared, but I think this is the calm before the storm.

We're going to get a freezer for down in the basement, for breastmilk storage, and then just to have the expanded storage for frozen food. Chest freezer, or regular side door freezer? I'm on team chest freezer, but I understand it's more convenient to store things in a side door freezer... I'm torn.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

You want access to the breast milk ASAP. A side door freezer with drawers works good enough for keeping the cold in as long as you aren't too rough pulling them in/out (think of them like full of water, any air that "spills" out needs to be recooled). I would keep it on the same floor as you live in however, kids screaming because they're hungry and you have to go to the basement first, open the chest freezer (I know I couldn't keep it tidy enough and rummaging for those bags while the kids screaming does not sound like a good time), then go back up and warm it up?

It's usually not time-sensitive to get it but some nights can be very draining and you want to have everything within reach. A steriliser and milk warmer is my secret tip, I thought we didn't need it but we got gifted both and they were amazing. Boiling bottles is an energy and water and time intensive chore, and a bottle warmer ensures a great temperature.

Also yeah it's kind of the calm before the storm but don't underestimate how boringggggg it can be. Like there are hours where nothing happens and then minutes in which hours happen. My wife practically lived in the chair in front of the TV while the small one was sleeping/feeding. Find something nice to do while the little one sleeps on one of you.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Me and my bf are talking more about having kids together!! I got so excited I started crying. Hopefully I'll have more to post here in a few years ccc: (not counting any eggs before they're hatched but it's feeling real in a way that it hasn't before)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

That's awesome! I'm very excited for you! If you have questions, concerns, if you need suggestions, just reach out!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Thank you! We want to live together for a year or two first, but it's something we both always wanted. We both work in childcare/education so it isn't totally idealistic/idle speculation :p Thank you so much for the encouragement!! I am so happy I haven't been able to stop getting weepy every few hours lol.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

oooooh exciting!!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

My back hurts really badly (6 out of 10, chronically) these days, and it is super hard to pick up my 60 lbs. seven-year-old boy. But he is autistic, and rarely speaks. So when he tries to say "pick me up", I feel compelled to oblige. T_T

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The vasectomy ended up not happening because we switched insurance since I started setting it up. Now it's gonna cost twice as much. So it's getting put on hold until I probably have a stable job again. Kind of pissed at how awful my partner's insurance is compared to what we where getting through ACA. Like sure let's not only pay teacher's the worse wages on the planet for a job that REQUIRES a degree but also enjoy you $800/month insurance with a super high deductable that doesn't cover like anything.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Its bad, we had great insurance in our district and then one year they switched us to an HSA and it started costing me a shit load of money every year.

Then my wife got a state job and were on state insurance and its insane how good it is. Like, everyone should have this insurance.

Sorry to hear your vasectomy got derailed, that sucks. I'd also be pissed too. Remember to wrap it up!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

If I can have any wish granted before I die, it's to have universal healthcare so the next generations won't have to suffer through this sort of bullshit. Healthcare shouldn't cost a quarter of your salary.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

The boys' second birthday is this weekend and I think we're on top of things. They just need to sleep before it and we'll be alright

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I went to the bleakest baby shower this weekend agony-deep

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Extremely immature 18 year old mom-to-be with a baby shower that she wanted decorated like a wedding. The vibes were dire!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yikes. We once went to a baby shower with a gender reveal that went very wrong. The mother-to-be was devastated by the reveal, had to excuse herself, it was ... Awkward to say the least.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'll never understand the whole gender reveal trend lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I don't get it either. It just seems like a lot of hurt feelings over a kid you're going to love to bits regardless.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (4 children)

My little one just turned 3 and it's starting to feel kind of off to call them by neutral pronouns but i think that's the gender binary cop in my head? They've been presented with all forms of entertainment and toys from barbies and princesses to monster trucks and dragons to basic numbers and colors and animals and all sorts of shit. Clothes of all sorts, frills and pink, dinosaurs and firetrucks etc.

They identify with the male characters. They love monster trucks and dinosaurs. They like mostly everything i would associate with masculine stuff barring like disney princess stuff. Idk I'm clearly overthinking it because of my own discomfort but what if they would rather just be called a boy, or a girl for that matter? Is it even possible to get an answer from a toddler about it? They're just not even thinking about it are they

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I have a daughter who didn't really have many "girly" interests until preschool - I'm pretty sure most kids start to learn gender as a social construct from their teachers and peers.

Honestly, at this age, I just frame things like "many girls like to have long hair, but boys can have long hair, too" when I'm asked questions about gender and expression. The emphasis is usually on the fact that it's ok for people to do/like things that are usually associated with the other gender, and encourage self expression.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Oh yeah I'm not trying to force anything i just don't want to resist any expression of gender either

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My kid is 4 and consistently miss-genders her friends, she clearly has no idea what gender is lol. Ultimately your Kiddo's friends and teachers will eventually start gendering them are some point. I think what's important it that your heart is in the right place and you'll be equipped to help them form their own identity when they're ready.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Lol, she'll figure it out

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Here is a really nice personal essay about raising kids without gender---or as the author frames it 'gender freedom' which I really liked.

https://indi.ca/raising-kids-with-gender-freedom/

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

I'm pretty comfortably cis and male so they could just be trying to emulate me rather than expressing themselves

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I'm making Chashu Pork for dinner tonight. Haven't done that In a while. House smells gooooood.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Need you to share that recipe comrade.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Love instant pot foods. Thinking about setting up mine to have soup auto-prepared for me when I get home tomorrow.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Fawk i gotta get the slow cooker out now that it's getting chilly out

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

We made stew in the instapot the other day and it was sooo good.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Oops might have left the pork a little to long and now it's pulled pork. Oh well! That's what I get for using pork belly precut into strips instead of one large peace.