this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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AKA please, don't tell me "get professional help". Poor people can't afford it anyways.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 23 minutes ago

Limit time spent online. Stop viewing the news. Improve the foods you're eating, if you can. Exercise. Go to a nice spot in nature, if your location allows, and appreciate natural beauty. Every day, think of one thing for which you are grateful.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago
  • Go on a run a couple times a week. I honestly hate running, but I always feel loads better after going on a run. Just start with 6 stints of 30 seconds with a 2 minute break in between and build up from there. It might not be a long term solution, but will definitely help get you through some tough days.

  • Online there are also lots of free resources available. There are a lot of chatrooms and phone numbers available for people that are struggling. Even if your particular country doesn’t offer any, you can always just chat/call with foreign resources.

  • Try mindfulness. At first it might take a couple tries to find what works for you, but there are many apps and videos online that all have a different approach. I personally use the Balance app for the free year they offer and found that 3 or 4 of their mindfulness exercises really help me out every time I feel depressed or anxious etc.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

I found the book "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns to be extremely helpful. It teaches you the most common method therapists use (cognitive behavior therapy). Like therapy, you need to continually practice it for it to be useful.

Practicing mindfulness can also be very beneficial.

If it's available in your area, Ketamine therapy (not recreational ketamine) has been shown to act as a rapid antidepressant. In the US, there are at home ketamine providers that you can consult online. There's a popular low-dose provider that includes provider visits and medication for $129/month, if you qualify.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 hours ago

I used Ai to vent my problems to, and binged research papers. Read up on cognitive behavior therapy and the mechanics of depression.

I also made some big life changes and cut WAY back on drinking, but it took months and years to ease into the changes. Im still having shit days often, but can actually troubleshoot my mood and see why I'm depressed.

Half if it is don't dwell on the bad things and that is damn hard. You got to catch your brain thinking something like "im a fuck up", or "I get no benefit from $hobby". Once you catch it stop or distract the though, literally tell the thought to fuck off if that works for your head.

Once your ready start stacking little things like showing and walking a few laps around the house over time. Its sound like bs but it helps.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 hours ago

Mindfulness, if you can get your hands on it, read Why Buddhism is True.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Exercise.

Cardiovascular and resistance exercise both release a chemical called BDNF, which causes hippocampal neurogenesis, which causes a decrease in depression.

After being on medication and in therapy for years, I basically lost my medical care and has to figure out a fallback strategy. Learned about this exercise connection, and changed my running habits from:

  • About a mile
  • About once or twice a month

To:

  • About five miles
  • Three times per week

The effect on my depression was profound. It was far more powerful than the medication and therapy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

And if exercise makes you miserable?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

That may indicate HPA axis dysregulation depending on the timescale.

When you exercise, how long is the miserable period afterward?

I had a dysregulation of my HPA axis that resulted in a cause-effect function like “ten minutes of vigorous exercise results in a week of insomnia, headaches, panic attacks, and muscle rigidity”.

Is it like that? Or do you just mean exercise isn’t fun during the exercise? Or something else?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I strongly dislike being sweaty and, if exercising, even walking somewhere, outside, dislike being at the mercy of the elements.

There's also that one cannot simply exercise. There are necessary activities that need to be performed afterwards if not before.

Some people take jumping into a shower for granted, for example; they don't even think about it, and just do it and it's done before their brain even engages. For me that takes a lot of mental energy, which brings me onto another point:

I do not know how much mental stamina I have for a day, so I could start an activity and run out of steam before I've had chance to get to the end of everything, making for a very uncomfortable hour or two as I drag myself miserably through whatever else needs to be done.

As such I tend to want to avoid that happening, and it's on my mind the whole time I'm doing something that takes time.

Throwing exercise into the mix only guarantees less time to be able do the things I need to, even if there are still many hours left in the day.

I figure this could be a case of needing to somehow force myself to do it anyway, but I do not know how to do that. And there's that I would then need to keep doing that every day forever in order not to fall back to where I am currently, which seems both unsustainable and unpleasant.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 hours ago

Probably best to start with a small amount of exercise then. Like one to five minutes.

You certainly don’t want to deplete your resources to the point of making the rest of your life undoable.

One thing I’ve found useful is to study the different resources that the body uses. This can be abstract concepts like “willpower” down to concrete molecular energy reserves like “glycogen”. Both the concrete and the abstract concepts have been studied by science, and there are models of how they work.

In my own day to day, I pay attention to:

  • Willpower
  • Hydration
  • Sleep
  • Mental conflict such as results from unresolved moral conundrums
  • Potassium
  • Glycogen
  • Total calories

It’s also a fact that exercise will, over time, tend to increase the capacity of the various “energy” stores one has access to. It will improve willpower, concentration, flexibility, glycogen, oxygen carrying capacity of the blood, mitochondrial health, etc.

But doing too much (which at the beginning can be just a little bit) can definitely cause problems. Especially if that willpower budget is small.

If I were in your situation, where exercise was likely to push me over the limit and deplete my willpower budget (and other resources) to the point where I failed in other parts of life, I would start extremely small with the exercise routine. Like one push-up. I mean tiny.

People ask “what’s the point” to something that small. The point is that it’s a stepping stone to being able to do more.

Of course, you also gotta make sure you’re eating enough, getting plenty of sleep, getting all the nutrients you need, etc.

Also (and I know this comment is all over the place) meditation can increase willpower budget over time.

Big, drastic changes can be overwhelming and can set a person back. This is why baby steps are recommended. “Baby steps” means basically tiny steps. Tiny changes. One push-up per day. Maybe curl 1 lb, once a day.

Baby steps are steps that, themselves, don't change one’s life. But what they do is they open the door for larger steps that can change one’s life.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Do you think you would be not depressed if there was something different about your life or yourself at they are right now?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Yeah, if I was born rich. You CAN buy happiness

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

This might be a weird one, but it is helping me a lot.

My deepest spirals into depression and alcohol abuse happen in the evening and at night.

I switched to waking up early (5am), focused on experiencing and enjoying sunrise as a kind of meditation, then going about my day. I'm off to bed by 8pm.

There's still days where I can't catch sleep for hours, mind racing. But hours past 8pm is still only 2am.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I found that a five minute session on a Muse 2 device (essentially over the counter neurofeedback training via a small consumer headband) kills my insomnia for at least a week.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

Thank you for the suggestion. I'll look into that

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

You post stuff like this a lot. You keep talking about being lonely, or about being sad, or things in that same spiral. You clearly know what the answer is, but you refuse to listen to it or accept it, but you STILL ask the question. At a certain point, I have to wonder if you LIKE being miserable.

As harsh as it is to say, I think you need to get over yourself.

Get help. If you can't afford a pro, get an amateur to talk to. There are low-cost helplines and support groups around the world. Don't just come up with a reason why you can't do it. You can. All that remains is whether or not you will.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago
[–] [email protected] -2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Incorrect and no, your solutions are not available for me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

Why not?

Also, I’m willing to talk to you so long as you promise not to dox me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago

That's the neat part, I don't.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

Telling myself: "There will be better days ahead". Repeating that motto in the darkest moments helped a bit. Reading the stories of people who experienced depression but pulled through. And lastly, keeping busy. It's not ideal, but doing anything that requires focus kept me from introspecting. And that ended badly generally.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (3 children)

1- Exercise - I generally think that walking or running on trails in nature is one of those generally free beneficial thinks you can do for depression. Worse case scenario, you improve your fitness and feel better about the shape of your body.

2- Sleep - Yeah, this is a massive one, aim for at least 7-8 hrs. Regular exercise will help, but try to keep a relatively even sleep schedule (schedule yourself to be in bed without your phone by 10pm is a lazy but easy way to help).

3- Limit doomscrolling - Looking at the latest news about what craziness is happening in world probably isn't that amazing to do that often, so limit it a bit.

4- Diet - I'm vegetarian, and when I started years ago I noticed it really seemed to make my bouts of depression easier to handle. That being said, at the very least make sure you aren't eating too much junk food and try not to drink. If you aren't getting enough of a particular nutrient, take a multivitamin (magnesium is a pretty common deficit for most, and can affect your sleep).

5- Meditation - The act of breathing can occasionally give a bit of a break from the spiral of depressed thoughts, so it's no wonder that a lot of therapists tend to recommend it. Just start with 10 min a day and see if that helps any.

6 - Atmosphere - I know his can't always be helped, but just adjusting your living environment can make a tremendous difference. Try taking a day or so just to thoroughly clean your room/apt/house. Personally, my advice is to clean like you are trying to truly help someone you love/respect so that at the end you feel like no stone was left unturned.

7- Music - Kinda try to find some music you like that is soothing and try to like, and limit depressive or harsh music. Sounds stupid, but it helps some.

8- Psychodelics - A bit controversial, but I personally use shrooms long term to handle depression. They honestly have been the best long term depression maintenance I've found for the price. But truthfully, most of what they do is give you a few hours to step out of your emotions, and force you to actually look at yourself. They are basically just making you acknowledge the above for the most part, and after a trip if you don't make changes, they won't really help that much. Pro tip, a notebook to capture your stream of thought can be very helpful for post trip integrations.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Shrooms are definitely dangerous, especially for people who are prone to schizophrenia I've read.

Personally, they made me realize my mind is capable of being content. No longer full blast, spinning plates all of the time.

That experience made me realise change is possible, and I got professional help a year later. Turns out I've been living in C-PTSD since I was 5.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Schizophrenia is the only reason not to take psychedelics. Your first sentence could easily be misinterpreted as a lie that tries to falsely apply that danger to other areas.

All the usual "be safe, feel safe" advice applies no matter what!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago

I'd argue that shrooms themselves aren't a huge deal, but pre-existing conditions for sure have accounted for (if you are schizophrenic or have bipolar disorder, please be careful/don't take them), correct dosages for different strains should be taken, and you should do them in a safe environment. Shrooms themselves can't directly kill you, unlike some stronger psychodelics (lsd, research chems, etc) which is why I generally recommend them (and not mushroom chocolate bars, which are usually research chems even if they say otherwise).

Either way, glad to hear that you seemed to get the benefit of change!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago

Everything (except 8, obviously) is pretty standard practice for CBT as well. In terms of self-help, I'd also definitely add

9: Find nice people/a nice group to spend time with. Doesn't really matter what it is: sports club, theater, study group, board game club, garden builders. Just follow your interests.

I think many people dismiss the incredible value friends bring to our life and the stabilizing effect it has on out mental health. Loneliness is one of the deadliest causes out there (some studies say it's as harmful as smoking daily), so make sure to have people around you whom you like spending time with! And no, digital groups are not the same as real-life ones. Body language is incredibly important in communication, and with it missing orr brain processes information differently.

Tl;Dr: Get out there and find nice people.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Excellent post.

On the topic of shrooms, the 50-100mg of Golden Teacher or Penis Envy have worked well for me. Every other day for 2 months. Then take a month off.

If you have the ability, OP, you could adopt a pet. It helped me a lot to have someone to keep me company and that I was responsible for.
You can’t just lay in bed hoping for tomorrow when you got a terrier yapping at you to get up and play with him.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

5-HTP serves me well. It's got a similar serotonin impact without the tripiness of shrooms.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Glad it helps, I was kinda in the same situation as op as few years ago (depressed, broke, and living with my parents), although I was in the US. I don't personally recommend having a pet when depressed, I'm thankful that my dog wasn't cared for by just me at the time as I suspect that I wouldn't have gone great. I personally try to fully trip every 4-6 weeks, but the more time passes the longer I find I don't need to trip that frequently. I take a pretty high dose, have to schedule out a full day to get through it. I haven't really tried much in the way of micro dosing, but I've heard that they work for a lot of people.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 hours ago

You really shouldn’t fight depression solo. We’re social creatures. Trained therapists aren’t the only people who can help you, even a trusted friend or a random stranger in a free support group can do wonders.

Local support groups probably exist in your area. Sometimes they aren’t very visible, and being depressed certainly won’t help you find it.

I didn’t know about any in my area, since when I’m depressed I’m unable to look for those groups, and when I’m fine, i have no need to look. But after joining a local mutual aid board, i found out about quite a few resources that were fully free or extremely cheap (less than $50 us) when others asked for them.

If you are queer, a lot of queer support groups often have resources to help you out.

As for how I treated mine, exercise and hiking, finding scenic areas, avoiding alcohol (which i was bad at), and trying to live more “intentionally” and not getting into patterns that left me feeling hollow. For example, i tried spending less time gaming, and substituted that time with reading, since that made me feel less like I was wasting time and my life. I also tried learning to cook, since having good meals was great, and not constantly eating shit from a local fast food joint helped me stop rapidly gaining weight, which was certainly making things worse.

I also have a trusted friend who i talked to about some of my problems, and he helped me get through the worst parts. This was probably the most important part, and it got me on the path to getting out of that depressive episode.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly, running, walking alone in the park, listening to music, reading about depression to comprehend if what I am feeling is concerning.

Running: As I run, I try to focus on my pacing, my breathing, and I stop when I get tired, when I'm DONE, that I think helps because all of the endorphins released. Walking alone in the park: This also helps me because I get to see nature, watching birds or squirrels going about their business relaxes me, and also I try to treasure those little moments as mine. Listening to music: And I mean REALLY listening to music, focus on the whole song or different parts of it makes me appreciate it more and it can make me feel immerse in it.

To me it's not a magic cure to depression but it helps a lot when I'm feeling down, I know everybody is different but this is what helps me.

If you try to battle depression and can't for some reason, looking for professional help is key, don't let it grow or it will consume you.

Stay strong my friends.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Listening to music: And I mean REALLY listening to music

Amen. I've been listening to the same album since february. Trying to decypher every baseline, every cymbal.

Brings my mind to a happier place.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Sometimes I listen to 1973 by TH White in repeat in my car.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

I don't know what that is. Please, tell me all about it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago

Save your energy, reduce sugar and glutene, sleep well, reduce distractions, exercise.

Also what you said to not tell you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

imo, it takes a kind of effort to be constantly "aware" and "battling/ avoiding" depression. it would be nice if the brain just auto-switches in battle-mode but that's not its natural state.

As for how I battle my own, I do hobbies like plants, walking and reading; and sleeping. Sometimes I do cheat days.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Don't do it on your own, do it with other people.

I found that the more time I spent with other people, the less time I was spending beating myself up.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

There's an AA saying that the opposite of addiction is community; I find the same thing is often true of depression.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 hours ago

Ever heard of the cocaine mouse?

The experiment was to put a mouse alone in a cage with two water sources. One had sugar water that would keep the mouse alive, the other had cocaine and no nutritional benefit. The mouse would keep drinking the cocaine and starve to death.

Then someone tried the same experiment but they gave the mouse companions. With other mice around they would all eat.

https://www.futurity.org/mice-addiction-cocaine-959182/

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Oh.

Slowly and inefficiently, I should say.

I've basically missed the last 20 years of my life.

(And I have "professional help.")

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

If you have depression with a medical cause, the only solution is going to be medicine.

I had depression for about 20 years and ignored it because I thought it would be too expensive and complicated.

One time I mentioned it to my GP at my free annual checkup. He wrote me a script for Lexapro. Even when I didn't have insurance, it has never cost over $20 for a month supply.

It has been worth countless times that to me, and one of my biggest regrets was not just asking sooner and assuming and taking other people's word it was complicated and expensive to get help.

As mentioned in another reply, try the teledoc and see if they can give you something. There are a few cheap types these days so you can hopefully get one that works for you.

Best of luck, it is truly life changing!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Professional help can be cheap! You just might have to look little harder. For a while, I saw a psychologist who had a deal with a church where they subsidized most of his fee. So it was super cheap for me.

One of the most helpful things for me was Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT. I used a workbook that helped me see how skewed and untrue some of my thinking was.

Finally, walking in nature or, even better, exercise! Find what works for you. I like jump rope. Good luck!

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago

Exercise every day. Eat decent food and get good sleep. Practice mediation. Find artistic hobbies that you enjoy.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 hours ago

It’s so ironic how almost everyone tells you to go get professional help, but I guess that’s the best option.

One simple thing you can do is workout. It’s physically painful so you can forget about the harsh reality for a moment, plus you’ll become (physically) healthier.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Reading internal family systems by Richard Schwartz, watching videos by sadhguru, taking time to try to follow the threads of “intrusive thoughts,” by trying to sit in them while focusing on my breath and trying really hard not to think in words, trying to listen to myself rather than talk to myself in my head.

I do also see a therapist, and he helps talk through things that paralyze me from making decisions.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Hello. I am 51 and have been battling chronic, often severe, depression since 1989. I also found "professional help" ineffective on the psychology side and ultimately harmful on the psychiatry side (meds)...for me. I understand that they are helpful for most, but no two people are the same.

I have found that there is no one thing you can do. There is no "silver bullet". It will likely take a number of techniques and solutions in conjunction and others only when needed. Here are a few that might help, or might not.

  • Fitness and Exercise - Yes, I know. The last thing you want to do is torture yourself further but, the effects can be immediate. Sometimes a strength and cardio workout can give you enough of a chemical kick in the ass to help you through at least part of your day.

  • Bullet Journaling - Journaling is the most useful tip I got from a therapist, but it wasn't until I tried Bullet Journaling that I saw its potential. It is very easy to get lost in ourselves and lose all hope of anything ever being better. Keeping a journal, especially one as detailed and focused on your well-being as a bullet journal, can really help you realize tye progress you have made. It can also help you evaluate your past states of mind and possibly find relationships between those states of mind and things you have done. Maybe you notice a pattern between depressive episodes and eating steak or broccoli or chats with your sister, etc. Don't scoff, depression is fucking weird. Anyway, I highly recommend reading The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Carroll. If money is an issue, you can probably find it in you local library system, used book stores, or 🏴‍☠️ if you must. I bought a copy used on Amazon for $6.

  • Quit Alcohol - Sorry. Depression and alcohol consumption are besties and every time they get together, you pay the price. Not much more to say than that.

  • Microdose - I personally don't think it is a good idea to get full on high. Again, we are not identical robots. Everyone has a different bio-chemical system, but abuse of any one substance never tends to work out well. That said, microdosing weed literally saved my life. I won't go into details but chronic and severe insomnia had me a the edge of suicide. The meds I was being given were not helping and they were literally stealing "me" from myself. Two puffs from a vape pen before bed (not enough to get me proper high) gave me a solid five to six hours of sleep (I was getting 60-90 minutes before).

  • Diet - Eat as clean as you can. The less processed food and ingredients the better (looking at you sugar). Eat balanced. Instead of making meat the centerpiece of the meal, try making the enhancement. Lots of greens, legumes, fruit, etc, on your plate to go along with your small piece of protein. EDIT: This one is important not only for nutrition but also because of your microbiome. There is increasing evidence of links between microbiotic gut health and mental health. But also, you need good nutrition.

  • Hydrate - I struggle with this one too.

  • Interact with others in person - I am not saying that you need friends and family, or that you need to surround yourself by loving relationships, etc. All that sounds great, but isn't on the cards for many people. It also comes with the risk of introducing toxic people or relationships into your life. What I mean is, try to make an effort to engage with the humans around you, even if it is superficial. I small talk with my cashier at the market, my waiter, etc. I try to engage with others as often as I can. It is low risk because if they don't respond you can move on and you will never see them again, and even if you do, they will likely not remember you. Just don't keep trying with that one person if it didn't work previously. Don't be creepy. The point is that our stupid monkey brains need that. We do not do well with absolute isolation.

  • Sunlight - You need it.

  • Recognize and remove toxic people and relationships from your orbit - The word "orbit" is on purpose. I do mean directly from your life, that should be obvious, but I also mean from your vicinity. Maybe you hang with someone who's nice but they are in a toxic relationship. You don't need that energy around you, especially if that person is just an acquaintance (we overuse the word friend when we often mean close acquaintance). This might sound cold but you need to save yourself before you even think about trying to save others. Otherwise your depressed ass might do more harm than good.

Remember, these are just opinions. No two people are the same. You need to find what works for you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

Severe treatment resistant depression here, not able to be controlled through medication, will never feel good yadda yadda.

I find goal setting is very important. "I just have to make it to X" then just move the goal post.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (3 children)

I have tried a couple different things, but they haven't really helped me.

I started running back in March. I used a free android app called Just Run and I bought myself a cheap smartwatch to track my distance. Like the app suggested, I take 1-2 rest days in between each run day...which seems to help me stay relatively consistent in doing exercises because it allows for breaks. It was more satisfying in the beginning being able to check off days in the app, but even then it only does so much. It provides a brief distraction I guess. I have tried to continue it because it's supposed to be good for you regardless. Although running really does suck ass haha.

Recently I have been trying to take an OTC supplement called St. John's Wort. It is one of the few supplements that has showed statistically significant results similar to SSRIs in clinical trials. However, do note that if you take literally any other medicine, please do not take it. It interferes with basically every other drug out there. But if you aren't on any meds it might be worth trying. I haven't found a noticeable difference with it either after trying it for several weeks. But I just bought a "better" brand and am planning to increase the dosage a bit (I was taking one less dose than recommended on the bottle), so we'll see if it does anything.

So yeah neither of these worked for me. But I've read that they have worked for others. It doesn't necessarily hurt to try them. Except like I said, please do NOT take St. John's Wort if you are taking any other medication.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 hours ago

St. John's Wort

if you take literally any other medicine, please do not take it. It interferes with basically every other drug out there

Thanks for including that! The link below has some more information on common interactions.

The list below includes some recognized interactions. However, other drugs may also interact with St. John's wort. Check with your doctor before using St. John's wort in combination with any other drugs, especially prescription medications.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements-st-johns-wort/art-20362212

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