this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
1214 points (97.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27156 readers
3215 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 201 points 2 months ago (9 children)

Heheh, this shitpost triggers me.

My mom was forcing us a macrobiotic diet back in the day. We were strictly vegan, although fish is allowed in that diet, some vegetables like patatoes and tomatoes are not. Hardcore vegans…

My school lunch was mostly sushi with a filling of fermented prune called umeboshi, or tempeh and seaweeds, pumpkin or rice balls and sesame seeds. We were underfed, yellow flaky skin because of the overdose of carotene and you see everyone around you in school eating candy, fries, meat and what not while also taking the piss at you for being different and stinking of that diet.

At dinner I use to bury my Iziki seaweed in the plant pot because I just couldn't swallow that shit without gagging. If I did not behave mom would go…”you're behaviour is to yang, next two weeks on a yin diet”. Disgusting.

By the age of 12, me and my sister got into stealing money from our parents real quick to buy normal or fast food, annoying the guy at the snackbar on wheels for free fries, shoplifting and shit. Yeah, good times.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Oh, and this is not a rant against vegans, everyone is welcome at my house, if you are good anybody. I even have pots and pans that never touched meat. I will serve you any grilled vegetables, beans, salads and vinaigrettes, pesto's and bread, or baked patatoes and what not. I used to cook vegan for the homeless here in Amsterdam when I was mostly homeless and squatting myself in what we call squatting cafe’s.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago

You are living up to, and by my estimation exceeding, your username. Sorry to hear you had a rough childhood. Glad to hear that things are better - you sound like an awesome host.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

That's a batshit insane diet, not a vegan one. Fish allowed but potatoes and tomatoes forbidden? What is the logic here? Or is this just some weird "diet" that's supposed to make you more "pure" or something?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Having separate cookware is really considerate n_n

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 83 points 2 months ago (2 children)

that's why i hate religious restrictions

[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Yes I agree.

Not only the diet, but the whole cult around it. Faith healers, homeopathy, people chewing on brown riceballs for an hour counting how many chews they had so they can show off how far they are on their macrobiotic spiritual journey. “You gotta chew your seaweed at least a 100 times”. These mf’s should not be around kids or have any (yes I would not exist). I am not on speaking terms and won't open the door for my parents, get fucked.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (31 children)

Don't confuse that with veganism though

load more comments (31 replies)
[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why the forbidden potatoes and tomatoes?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everything in the genetic family of nightshade. Solanaceae.

“Fruits including tomatoes, tomatillos, eggplant/aubergine, bell peppers and chili peppers, all of which are closely related members of the Solanaceae.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solanaceae

All the delicious plant based stuff snuffed out in a macrobiotic diet.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (5 children)

The nightshade family is in like half of what humans even eat that's ridiculous

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well it is a spiritual journey, you don’t need to sin on food.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What was the so called spiritual part of abstaining from these, or in in general, on this whole thing? No need to answer if you dont feel like it or whatever, just thank you for your insights.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

From what I learned a higher spiritual state is only achieved through discipline and rigoureus diet, ultimately one could live on a bowl of brown rice a day rule the earth. It is all really 1970s zen.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I have no words, I'm sure you've heard it all. Thanks for sharing this story and sorry for your childhood. Hope you're healing.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Thank you for caring, that is better than anything spoken.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm curious why fish was allowed and why tomatoes weren't, do you know what their reasoning was?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Beats me, maybe a land animal was more scentient than anything out of the sea. There are vegetarians having no problem eating fish.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

That would per definition be pescetarians

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's a diet that's avoiding nightshades not a vegan diet. Some people think nightshades can trigger inflammation or autoimmune diseases but there really isn't any evidence about it. Some people with irritable bowel disease fine nightshades trigger flare ups but that's about all I've heard of.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 74 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Hmm, does it count if the animal (human, in this case) could be omnivorous, but chooses not to be for whatever reason?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Herbivores can be carnivorous. I've seen plenty of videos of horses and cows cromching on baby chickens.

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 65 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

When I left my old workplace my colleagues organized a good-bye meal together. Standard office job, with regular guys. We had a great relationship and they knew I was vegetarian for 5+ years at that point and never had any issue with it.

So they asked which restaurant I would like to go and I was stupid enough to let them choose.

We ended up in a specialized Brazilian meat restaurant, where the servers go around with absurdly large pieces of grilled/fryed meats and would carve a piece to the guests. If you are a meat lover you can have easily 10-15 types of meats in a couple of hours.

Those assholes had a huge grin on their faces all evening, as I could only eat the sides from the buffet and had to refuse all meals from the servers about 12 time that evening. It was a truly memorable night, we even got drunk and laughed our asses off on our way home.

So yeah, not just kids can be assholes. We are still in contact till this day.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

That's pretty fucked up. I love Texas de Brazil but I wouldn't bring a vegetarian friend there to watch me hurt myself on all you can eat meat.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

While celebrating them, no less

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I hated school before, but getting trash thrown at me and I was the one called to the office to stop what I was doing.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I went to a private elementary school where I had the same teacher for 1st through 6th grade. Not only did the kids bully me, so did he. And he encouraged the other kids to do it, even my friends. I'm relatively certain, looking back on it, that it was in part because I'm Jewish.

He also once did something that would 100% have put him on a sex offender list today. Once I started crying because of how they were treating me and he put me on his lap and kissed me on the cheek and started calling me a little baby. But it was the 80s, so apparently that was okay.

I discovered he had an email address a while back and I sent him an email telling him that he fucked up my childhood and that he, as a professed Christian, now knows that he will go to his grave unforgiven because there is no possible way he could do enough to earn my forgiveness.

He replied, I deleted it without reading it. Fuck him.

The bigoted piece of shit also was in the Peace Corps in the Cameroon and because of that, thought it was totally appropriate to dress in the traditional clothing of Cameroonian people every Halloween. Unsurprisingly, the two Jewish kids and the two black kids in school were treated the worst by him. One of the two black kids was a girl who very definitely had dyslexia. Wow did he humiliate her over it constantly.

The funny thing is that he basically terrified me into not explaining what he was doing to my parents explicitly enough. They saw weird signs, but also always told me that I'd be treated worse in public school, which was proven untrue when I went to middle school, because as shitty as middle school kids are to each other, at least the teachers generally didn't take the side of the bullies and encourage them to bully harder. They only knew when my mom ran into one of the people I went to school with in a supermarket who told my mom that she felt so bad for me when we were in that hellhole.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (15 children)

And then they wonder about school shootings... oh well...

load more comments (15 replies)
[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A 12 year old drew a recognizable picture of another 12 year old? Doubt it.

[–] [email protected] 94 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You just pick something obvious and over elaborate on it. Big glasses, bright blue hat, etc also kids are mean, so pick a flaw, same idea.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or write their name on it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Best with a mean nickname...."vangoghismyboyfriend is a herbi-whore"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I wish I was compared to a cow. People usually tell me I resemble a jackass.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

Not like this would be any better in private schools tho...

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Well they're not wrong...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

would this text land differently if "public school" were replaced with "school"? 🤔

load more comments
view more: next ›