this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I dunno if it is intentional, but there's a an additional layer of humor in this for me:

Where I live, there's a company called Labcorp and they are basically the de facto company for pre-employment and random drug testing. I'm sure they do more than just drug tests, but drug testing is about all non-medical folks know of the place.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yup Yup LabCorp crew represent! They steal a lot of my blood on behalf of my doctors.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

I went to labcorp for a while when I needed monthly blood draws for my doctor.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have to get blood drawn every 3 months, and can go to either labcorp or the doctors office.

Which is technically also labcorp, or at least it's somewhat affiliated with them. I think it's the only blood game in town!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Quest Diagnostics.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Any of these cocaine button studies planning on moving to human trials soon? Asking for a friend.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

None of the ones I know about. IRB is never going to approve that. Impersonate a ~~masque~~ macaque and you might have a shot.

Edit: Fixed my autocorrect.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Impersonate a masque

Macaque?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Yes, autocorrect got me. Fuckin' hell.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I used to hang with some behavioral psychology grad students (the type that follow the practices of B.F. Skinner and operant conditioning) who were researching the effects of various drugs on pigeons. We were drinking in their lab one time and there were about thirty white pitchers sitting on a table; eventually I noticed that they all had little white, twitching tails sticking out of them - each one contained a pigeon face-down waiting to be put into the testing chamber. I asked them how they managed to get the pigeons into the pitchers and keep them there and they just laughed. They took me into the cage room and showed me how they just opened the cage door and held up a pitcher and the bird would fly like a rocket straight into it. Sometimes they went in so hard they would knock themselves unconscious.

There are some obvious ethical issues with animal experimentation, but as a certified druggie myself their lives didn't seem all that bad.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They should use seagulls instead of pigeons, fuck seagulls.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

seagulls are spirits of mischief and chaos, i'm pretty sure they'd intentionally fuck with the data

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Only if it meant more cocaine because it needs to be redone...

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So, they finally escaped. World domination is imminent!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think so Brain, but if you replace the 'P' with an 'O', my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I think so, Brain, but burlap does chafe me so!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

And one more time after that.

And one more time after that...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

SID

WHAT ABOUT THE FAREWELL DRUGS