this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2024
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People who make me feel like crap or worse off then when I encountered them consistently are written off and out of my life

Doesn't matter if its family, nobody is entitled to your attention and suffering and it does nobody any real good for you to succumb to the inevitable dysfunction it creates in your life and relationships and also material conditions.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. When I call customer support, I don't get mad at the person because it's not their fault. If someone flubs up my order I don't say anything. I try to smile to everyone even though I don't want to. Even if I don't make their day better, I try to make it at least bearable.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

If someone flubs your order, you can still say something about it. Just be friendly and understanding about it instead of an entitled asshole like some people.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

“First thing you learn is that you always gotta wait.” Taken from the Velvet Underground about buying drugs, but I think it’s pretty applicable to everything.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Be unremarkable but no so unremarkable as to be in and of itself remarkable

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"Disregard principles"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Never do anything permanent to my body, unless it is medically necessary.

People come in and out of life... Let them.

Do not date at work.

Under absolutely no circumstance do I mess with people in relationships.

Friends that are dating:
If they break up and I'm interested in her... I give one month per year of time, one month minimum, before I approach her. That helps prevent hurt feelings, it also prevents being the "rebound". Although, one time it cost me a possible relationship as she broke up with her fiancee' and immediately approached me. Unfortunately, she never came out an positively stated they were broken up and it caused quite a bit of awkwardness on my part. She ended up hating my guts, but honestly I probably just dodged a bullet.

Give yourself the respect you deserve. Corollary: Behave in a manner that you can respect.

There are more, but this is what I have time to type out right now.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

@cheese_[email protected]

It was to care about other's wellbeing. I remember when it clicked, and it was the first moral principle I consciously followed

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Go at your own pace, build habits. You can get good at anything if you stick with it long enough and don’t compare yourself to others.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Be nice. But not at any cost.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

The entire world is batlting against you, trying to convince you to open your wallet for them. Don't let them win.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

When I was a teenager, I encountered a bunch of different perspectives that contradicted the beliefs and ideas that I was raised with, and I realized that if you had wrong ideas about reality and tried to be a good person based on those ideas, you could easily wind up doing more harm than good. So I made a vow to myself to always pursue the truth - to learn about the world, to examine myself and my biases, to seek out and understand different perspectives, to ground my beliefs on evidence, and to reject peer pressure and comforting lies and to face reality even when it disturbed me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"Always eat your dessert first"

Meaning, when you feel overwhelmed by a huge task or a long list of tasks in front of you, start with the easiest, smallest and most pleasant parts. That way you overcome inertia and the feeling of standing in front of a huge, looming mountain, and get in the groove.

Once you've started, the next task on the list is just a little bigger than the last, which you've just successfully completed. That way you can get a lot done, step by step.

When only the biggest and most difficult tasks are left, you can break them down into tiny steps (don't "clean the house", just "pick up this one thing and put it away"). Again, do the easiest steps first, and celebrate each one as a thing you've just successfully accomplished.

Some people say you should start with the hardest stuff to get it behind you, but I have ADHD and trying that just keeps me from starting anything at all.

On a related note, don't write To-Do lists.
They're a devious trick by your brain to procrastinate. You already know a dozen things that need to be done at any given moment, so instead of writing a list, just do one of them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Save the hard stuff for earlier tho. You have the most energy and patience earlier after you sleep so optimize for that window or energy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

And then you fail, or you're overwhelmed by negative emotions associated with the task, and you're frustrated and go back to doomscrolling or trying out another Linux distro.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can't fully trust anyone, not your parents, siblings, extended family, spouse, best friend forever, no one. Don't count on anyone for anything and accept that the only person in your life who has your best interests at heart is you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Im obsessed with truth. Its been a struggle and kept my mind occupied much through my life. It still stays with me but I am more accepting that it is a journey without end. As for the truths the acceptance of the never ending journey and the ethic of least harm. I lean toward selfishness in my morality so am unwilling to compromise for the greater good.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I have a whole growing plethora of these, rules of thumb I consider in the long scheme of organization. Where would I start if not to ask about stuff?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Quit being poor is the only thing that will remedy most of your problems.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Embrace the difficulty, because it’s not going to go away.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Never waste a perfectly good crisis

You'd be restraining yourself without limiting ulhmm

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

When deciding what to do, the order of trumps is legal, then prudent, then right. Do what is legal unless what is prudent is illegal, then do what is prudent. If doing what is right is neither prudent or legal, do it anyway because it's right.

Never start fights with people. Always be prepared to finish a fight someone else starts with you, quickly, without posturing, hesitation, or mercy. Regardless of their size, shape, color, creed, or uniform, bullies can never be allowed to win.

When solving a problem, always start with the simplest possibility first.

Never lend anyone: Your truck, your pen, your chainsaw, or your wife. No matter what, they're going to do something with them that you're not going to like.

You can never have too many pens, flashlights, knives, or bullets.

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