this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 126 points 2 months ago (4 children)

This happened to my wife and I recently.

We came for a visit and her usual doctor wasn't available. This new doctor flat out said, "I didn't get a chance to read your medical history so tell me what's going on." My wife was confused, because this was her third visit to check her hormone levels. it wasn't a checkup, but a followup.

And this doctor proceeds to not understand any of this, as she keeps asking her questions about why she might be there, instead of spending two minutes reading the medical history.

My wife ends up crying while Im sitting in the corner begging my wife we should just leave because shes not getting anything from this doctor.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Like George Carlin said, somewhere there is the worst doctor and someone has an appointment with them tomorrow!

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What do you call the person who was last in class at medical school?
...
...
Doctor

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Having been a paramedic for many years, I'll take the 80% med student over the no bedside manner, no common sense, overly bookish student who can only think about what the book told them.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is the third time I've read this comment today. I hope Joe Pesci or the sun aren't trying to tell me something.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's a valid strategy to ask the patient to recap what brings them to the clinic. It's very common to hear a different story from the one in the booking system or in the medical history. I'm not sure about the system were you live but medical history often takes waaaaaaaaaay more than 2 min to read up on. Maybe the last visit was recorded and had yet to been transcribed? Those can be a pain to listen to. It feels very reasonable that the doctor didn't have time to read up on your history if they were covering for a sick/unavailable colleague.

I would 100% prefer a doctor that is upfront about not knowing my medical history over a (more commonly occurring) dumbass pretenting to know it.

It's regrettable that your doctor made you feel neglected. Fault them for that, not the questions.

Edit: *recorded as in dictated!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Medical clinics are often overbooked, like airports. This is why they give you an appointment time that is generally thirty minutes early. ONE late person fucks the entire day’s schedule after their appointment time, that’s how tightly management insists on arranging it. Even the extra time slots of the past are being booked or even double booked in advance of the day. Docs are often given 10-15min per patient. Those other rooms you see in the hall? There are patients inside waiting for doc to go down the line, as staff keeps refilling those rooms down the line as the doc finishes. You think there’s time to read between? Oh you sweet summer child. That’s not on docs, that’s on corporate. Whatever company logo is stamped on the clinic and also on the nearby hospital, they’re the ones making it happen that way. Why? More patients crammed into each day means more $$$. Quantity over quality. Clinic docs are also paid by patient encounter. So this works together to arrange what we in healthcare commonly call a clusterfuck.

.

This is the part that’s probably messing with you most. And it likely won’t change. In medical, the assessment is sacrosanct. And your own. You MUST do it yourself. You don’t just go with the assessment of the first person to do one and never check again, you always check again. Always. Every visit. A lot can change in half a day. A day. A week. A month. And the quality of assessment changes with each person. Each person. Medical isn’t robots, it’s people, and most data collection happens through people. Each medical staff, doc or NP or RN or PA, gets their own assessments before they begin, unless they’re utter garbage at their jobs. This doctor never assessed you before, which means, they MUST assess you now, per their licensing. Also, a good chunk of what’s in the chart is old news. What’s right in front of you contains the best data about the patients present state. And the speed at which a clinic is to move from patient to patient, 2 min to read a chart isn’t part of the schedule. Even logging in these days can take half that 10min time slot due to old crappy computers. Sure stuff like moms medical history, what tests you’ve had already, and meds (pharmacies e-record talks to your medical e-record these days) is current, but your present state changes day to day and asking YOU what’s happening today is usually best practice and the most accurate. There’s no day prep time to a clinic day and no one takes “homework” home after work. It’s hit the ground running and just start diving into appointments. When the doc knows the patient already ofc this goes more smoothly because the doc knows the bigger picture. That’s why there’s an assigned doc for each patient.

.

All the NPs being trained makes the process more difficult. Heavy revolving door there as they do their version of residency and then poof they’re gone to find their actual job.

.

Wait until you’re admitted to a hospital from an emergency room, you’ll be in for a real treat. /s.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

For-profit medicine is a cruelty unlike any other. The United States government's embrace of this system is truly abhorrent.

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago

cops if you're quick 🤣

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 2 months ago (9 children)

The doctor’s appointment is not a great example for the US because the system is so fucked. If the doctor is terrible, sit it out, and then request to never see them again. You don’t even have to say why (if/when the scheduler pressures you, just blame the free market: “my care will be better managed by someone else”). Because if you don’t like your healthcare in the US, you certainly can leave, but you will be stuck with the bill, and if it’s considered leaving “against medical advice,” you will be denied insurance coverage if you return for the same issue.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (7 children)

But also, make sure you have good reason to not like the doctor, regardless of financial implications. A doctor giving you bad news or making an honest but unflattering comment is an easy situation to want to leave, but bailing on that situation is not a good solution.

I'm not trying to say one should never take a stand, just that they should make sure of their reasoning before doing so.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago (3 children)

But remember most of all young adults: If you find yourself leaving often then the problem might be with you…

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

While true and valid, also remember that your community can be a problem, or you might be suffering from systemic issues. Not all issues stem from individuals, and some are impossible to solve on the personal level. If you find yourself in the cult, for example, walking away is probably the best you could do, despite the scorn of the community.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago

That is true and equally worth pointing out too. I sometimes find it hard to distinguish between a heartfelt life lesson versus a platitude dressed in its Sunday best.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The One Trick That Jail Guards and Prison Wardens Don’t Want You to Know!

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can leave Elon’s personal edging chamber too you know?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Can you? He likes to sue people who do that.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Learning to deal with unpleasant people and situations is part of growing up. It's often better to grin and bear it, learn something for future you, then never go back.

OTHO, it's a valuable message. You don't always have to put up with the bullshit and should just bail.

So which is it? Well, figuring that out is an aspect of growing older and wiser.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

On the hand other

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

As long as you don't mind burning bridges*

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (3 children)

But why maintain bridges to places where you don't want to go?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

An objectionable acquaintanceship may be reconcilable.

The person leaving might not be objective in a situation and might realize that they miss the metaphorical bridge.

A person you dislike might be a valuable resource in other ways beyond social (especially in the referenced example of a medical professional).

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There are ways to extricate yourself without causing offense.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Oh, I just remembered. It's minnow season."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

I have to return some videotapes

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I quit a toxic job a few months ago. Scariest thing I've ever done. Best decision I ever made :)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's easy to quit something toxic, but how do you quit something where all people are well-meaning and friendly and trying to help you, but you are autistic and they simply don't understand what that is? (And you also don't know you are autistic yourself yet)

That was my first uni where I dropped out at winter.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago

A couple years ago I rage quit a gaming session (during a break) with “Whelp, I’m gonna go do something I enjoy.”

My teammates understood. They were all very good at the game and I was not. I kept getting absolutely trounced, and was bringing them down with me.
It’s now sort of an in-joke/phrase we use unironically when the vibe is off but we still like our friends.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Erin with the tits is right

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

I'll wait till my doctor close my operation wound thank you.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

Same for toxic family.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

this should be made more clear to all patients of all ages, throughout life. they can't force you to do anything, or do anything to you that you don't want them to do

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Nope. In medical, you educate and advise, the patient decides. Then it’s documented and you move on to the next patient.

In diabetes this is often seen as a foot that is now getting amputated after years of noncompliance with medical advice, but again, all you can do is educate. People decide their own actions for themselves.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My wife hates that I do this because it absolutely burns bridges, but fuuuuck these people

Doctor makes me wait 30-45 minutes 3 visits in a row? I'll walk that third time the second it hits 30m (you got charged for being that late so why couldn't I charge them after all?)

Job interviewer more than 5 minutes late? I'll get up and walk out of your building without escort, I remember the way. If you can't be on time to your own building, go fuck yourself

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I was at the dentist today. Second time they made me wait more than 30 minutes. Aside from that they asked for a much higher payment than I agreed to just one week earlier.

I got up and told them I'm leaving and they can keep the money. The apologized profusely and convinced me to stay. They did get me in and out very quickly after that.

I doubt I will go back for the second half of the work.

Also happened when I took my 5 year old son to the dentist. The doctor's policy was that no parents are allowed on the treatment room. I told my son to get out of the chair and left. Turned out that dentist was trying to put fillings in teeth that would fall out before fillings were even needed.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

I think the younger generations are much less likely to need this "advice" than previous generations, on balance.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (4 children)

These posts always have some sort of hot girl in the corner who, despite being in such a small thumbnail, find a way to showcase their cleavage.

Is there a term for this?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Hyperfixation.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Marketing perhaps?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Only ever left a doctor's appointment mid-appointment once. The doctor said he doesn't believe some of my medical conditions don't exist and I wasn't dealing with that shit

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Idk, running from unpleasant truths isn't great either, so be careful that you're not just shopping for a convenient diagnosis and instead looking for the truth. A second or third opinion is absolutely a good idea if you think your doctor is missing something (esp. if they refuse to run a test you think is necessary). Just remember that this goes both ways, so that doctor that tells you what you want to hear could be missing what the others have seen.

In other words, don't mistake hubris for confidence.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

This but tempered in a big vat of "don't be a dick".

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

This is a weird post. You might get charged anyhow and there might be other negative consequences of just walking out. I mean yeah I agree with the sentiment that you shouldn't have to put up with bullshit from doctors but in America at least you have to be a little more careful about it than just ghosting anytime you like. They have us by the balls and you don't change that by just ignoring the fact.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Yeah you can be rude. They know this

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I just realized this recently. When you turn 18, nobody tells you that nothing is physically stopping you from walking out of whatever situation you happen to be in.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I wish it was that issue. Specially while being autist or having ADHD and dealing with RSD or the after-issues.

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