askchapo

I have this doctor friend. He absolutely chooses the public hospitals in the poorest areas. He can make many times that in a posh hospital, but he won't. He's learning Chinese so he can read Mao in the original language. He randomly hits me up with questions about Linux, and he's using Debian. He's not Hakim, btw. Although fuck he knows his theory.

My best friend in the whole world was a feminist and she taught me everything I know. I remember her voice, her smile and her frowns too. Everything that all you fuckers talk about, she was telling me to my face and I remember nearly every word. I just didn't listen.

She passed away from cancer nearly a decade ago now and its still a pain point for my grief. I straight up ghosted her/ignored her every plea to talk. My friends nearly dropped me because of it. I've cried endless times over the way I treated her. I was a reactionary piece of shit. The exact opposite of what she wanted and it probably hurt her inside so much. I can't even imagine it without crying.

I was able to say my goodbyes before she passed but it was hollow because of my heartlessness. My big sister could barely say goodbye (physically and emotionally) and here I am full of life ahead of me and I couldn't even feel anything when we talked. I regret every single moment of that goodbye because I wish I never did it in the first place.

I am not that person anymore and I know for a fact she knows it. I smile when I think lf her now because I know she'd be proud of the man I've become. Every single word that she spoke fuels my convinction even to this day.

I mentioned she was my best friend in the whole word. While that's true, she was more than that. She was a sparkling radiance. She was my older sister most of all and I will never not tell people that.

i also choose your mom

For me, it is no other than His Holiness St. Bhagawan Shree Matt Christmann (PBUH), the sunlight reflecting off his glasses illuminating the path forwards towards Gnosis.

(I have problems)

How well do I have to know them? I only met them in passing a few times, but Art and Peggy Gish lived in and worked from my hometown and were hugely influential on my development as a person. Reading their letters to the editor and articles about their activism helped me realize that there were different interpretations of Christianity than my pastor's, and that the I didn't need to resign myself to the apathy about the world that so many of the adults around me embraced. Learning that it wasn't teenage foolishness to care so passionately about injustice was a turning point for me, and I'm grateful the Gishes were shining that light out into the world.

The girl reading this

The bastard test tube baby of Bookchin and Parenti that was created to promote leftist unity.

Sadly theyve retreated to a cabin in Montana somewhere. I dont think it has internet.

I don't have one :/

I'm all on my own IRL. My family ranges from fascist to lib, my friends are all libs, even my boyfriend is a lib (but at least he agrees capitalism bad). My neighborhood ranges from fascist to lib too. Leftists don't really exist here. If I attempt to fix that, I'll just alienate everyone away from me. Nobody wants to hear my "negativity" about the state of our country and the world, and the unsustainability of it all.