this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
413 points (97.3% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

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all 33 comments
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

"innovation"

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Can I make it anonymously post on Xitter every time it records a value?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's a premium feature that requires a monthly subscription to ShitBit Plus.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

If you also have Xitter Brown you can have your shit posts verified and ~~skid~~ check marked

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

The Elon Musk?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Dieticians hate this one easy trick that will have you shedding pounds in an instant!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

One figure I saw was that the average person produces “one ounce of poop for each 12 pounds of their body weight”, so the bigger you are, the more full of shit you are.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Not really. Since you're larger, your shit as a percentage of body weight doesn't go up.

Small people are just as full of shit as large people.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

"28g of poop for each 5.4 kg of their body weight" for the metrically inclined

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I don't buy it... maybe as an average

I just started a cutting phase of dieting, 2k calories and I crap way less than when I'm doing a 3K bulk.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I just shit on my kitchen scale.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Oh word I thought I was the only one.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Serious moment here: Due to the medical condition I'm dealing with, I have to weigh myself and record it at least three times a week and yeah, after I shit in the morning (which is basically right after I get up) I do it then. It's also when my body is most empty, so I try to keep that condition consistent and wait until a little later if I need to.

No, I don't need this. I just use a regular bathroom scale. But this isn't as utterly insane as it sounds.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

But this isn't as utterly insane as it sounds.

It is not very convenient though, cause you'd have to lift your feet off the ground and hold sit very still for a few seconds to get an accurate measurement. Putting your feet on the ground while sitting would mess up the measurement

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The people who can use this must not be able to reach the floor..

I can’t even get my kitchen scale to read a consistent number when I pick up the thing I’m weighing and set it back down. The shifting weight here between seat and feet would kill any and all usefulness.

Ooh! Maybe you are supposed to do a starfish before and after the dump! (Jazz hands optional)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I want to see the number go down as the shit leaves my body.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

That’s the exact thing that can’t possibly work if you are partially supporting your weight with your feet, that’s the problem. Even standing or sitting totally still, you are constantly adjusting muscles to maintain balance, which would absolutely throw off a scale sensitive enough for the amount you lose taking a dump. And I really think that would be true even if you weren’t touching the floor, simply because scales measure pressure, which can change based on position.

It might work if you shit in the fetal position with your feet and ass on the seat, not moving, with something to support your balance.. (the mental image of getting this thing to be useful is giving me the giggles)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

It might work if you shit in the fetal position with your feet and ass on the seat, not moving

I already do this as it is the optimal shitting position.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Does it display measurements in Katie Courics?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Or the metric unit Bonos

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Unit of poop measurement referenced in South Park episode More Crap.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/More_Crap

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

About damn time! Got tired of constantly weighing myself before and after on the bathroom scale.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Just shit on the scale

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

For some reason, I imagine this being used as part of a proof-of-work scheme for a cryptocurrency that rewards you for pooping.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

A true shitcoin

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

hold my beer...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Mine would say error!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago

Ew, that nas.