this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
363 points (93.3% liked)

Memes

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[–] [email protected] 93 points 2 months ago (42 children)

When people think a bidet is stupid, I always ask: If you had poop on your arm, would you clean it with water or just wipe it with a dry towel and call it a day?

Not to mention it's less irritating for ur bum

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hey, that's mine. You can't have it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

🥺👉👈

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (13 children)

This question shows that people can have differing standards of cleanliness and it's OK. Because the answer is "would you spray your arm with water only or would you use soap?" Bidets don't use soap, so with either bidet or paper you can still feel dirty until a shower, it's just what level of dirty you're willing to accept.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (10 children)

Hey, fellow Spuds fan. I have a similar one but it's: "If you smeared peanut butter on the outside of a watermelon but wiped it off with dry toilet paper, wouldn't you expect it to still smell like peanut butter?

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[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Three seashells and a poop knife was good enough for my pappy and my grandpappy and his pappy before him, and it’s damn well good enough for me & my sons.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wish I could upvote this twice.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Gifting mine in your name, I got your back.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (13 children)

Wouldn't recommend. I bought a Kärcher brand one some time ago, it had too much pressure. Got my butt cleaned to the bone though.

Edit: I appreciate the advice about pressure, but folks, I was joking about power washers 😆

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

I come for the clean bum. I stay for the surprise enema.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

My bidet BLASTS my bits and I love it. I’m ALWAYS bits-clean.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

You need to use the valve to adjust the pressure. They're also not all the same.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I like a diesel-fired Hotsy, myself.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Such a huge difference in cleanliness when using these.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Everytime I travel I wonder how the godless savages live like this

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

A lot of middle eastern countries have these at hotels.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Bidets fuck hard.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Shat as far as what now?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Sorry. You are all primitive peoples if not using a toto.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (4 children)

i mean if your bidet doesn’t even have wifi what are you doing with your life

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I highly recommend the rinseworks bidet. It is designed much better than the one from the pic. You don't have to shove your entire hand in the toilet to use it. https://rinseworks.com/

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yes, and if you don't have this, use one of these

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'd love to buy a bidet. I just can't afford it.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (5 children)

$20 for a bolt on unit that fits on your seat, even cheaper for a bum gun. Live your dreams

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Bum gun now for 20 years after visiting SE Asia decades ago and relealising smearing shit around your ass with paper really was just fucking weird

DIY install for about $20 and no TP.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

a bum gun, lmao

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

There's tops you can buy really cheap that you can put in a bottle and have a very cheap bidet. I think for many people it's a struggle to change their mind that this is also OK and it doesn't have to cost thousands of $$$

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