this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
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Ramzan Kadyrov, the brutal dictator of Chechnya and prominent Putin ally, has invited Elon Musk to visit him in Grozny. Kadyrov wrote the invitation in a Telegram post where he praised the Cybertruck below a video of him driving the stainless steel monstrosity around Chechen city streets.

Kadyrov smiled like a child while driving the Cybertruck. “We received a Tesla Cybertruck from the respected Elon Musk,” the post said. “I was pleased to test the new technology and was personally convinced that it is called the ‘Cyberbeast’. A real invulnerable and fast animal.”

The bed of the Cybertruck was open and someone had mounted a Russian PK machine gun in the bed. Kadyrov said the car was a dream to drive and that they may soon send it to his soldiers. “I express my sincere gratitude to Elon Musk! He is, of course, the strongest genius of our time…a great man!” He said on Telegram.

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[–] [email protected] 98 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The richest asshole in the world tweeted:

Are you seriously so retarded that you think I donated a Cybertruck to a Russian general?

🧐

That choice of word is weird. Did he mean that he sold the cybertruck to the Chechen war criminal?

Btw, dear war criminal, hurry up and go to do the "special military operation" with that death trap

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago

Do you seriously think I am so retarded that I donated a Cybertruck to a Russian general?

FTFE

And the answer of course is yes

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean, a person with a mental disability probably won't do something like this. A narcissistic billionaire who strongly overestimates his cognitive abilities on the other hand absolutely would.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Like "do you think I'm that stupid to give away $100k?? Of course he paid, and of course he paid an extra fee"

[–] [email protected] 80 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

To be fair, Tesla autopilot does a decent job killing people in civilian applications so this feels like a natural move.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Yes but how will it handle rain?

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'd be more curious to see if it could survive an Iraqi sandstorm because my bet is... absolutely not.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Lithium ion is pure shit in extreme temps... and of course an added load of ordinance and armor... this thing will have less reliability and range than a kids power wheels.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not to mention, they like to catch fire.

I’d be willing to bet tracer rounds would be very effective. Fun fact- the “bulletproof” doors aren’t actually all that bullet proof.

They might stop 9mm pistol fire, but after a few shots, not so much. Rifle? Naw, it’s going through.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

An AK bullet can cause spalling through centimetres of steel, and can massacre a non-uparmored HMMWV.

That truck is also sitting on a pile of explosive batteries.

Boom.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Now I'm just remembering the 80s commercials, where the adults are surprised that the kid is driving.....and then the camera zooms out, and it's a power wheels. Which means if the kid was keeping up with the real car, why the FUCK was this adult driving at like 1/2 a mile per hour???

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

How cold could the foot of the Caucuses really be?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

"and then there's a shark coming his way"!

[–] [email protected] 70 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well isn't he going to be surprised when he finds out just how ineffective it is against gunfire.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's not even especially effective against baseballs.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

I mean.....that wasn't a baseball. It was a steel ball.

That said, it's a stupid vehicle that is stupidly designed.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Per the Tesla patent, they took the approach of laminating dissimilarly toughened layers with a special adhesive. Unlike actual ballistic glass using a polycarbonate/polymer layer in the stack, Tesla’s 100% glass and glue is just better than tempered:

…at most a 10% chance of failure with an impact of 2 J.

However this glass type is rejected on the side and rear windows by everyone else, because it slows emergency rescue efforts - laminated windshield glass is difficult enough when no other rescue path is available.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm in favor of dictators worldwide standardizing on the cybertruck thanks. It'll be easy to disable all of them with a garden hose or a baseball.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Or an OTA software update. Or some water.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh my god, could you imagine Zelensky sending a hacked OTA update to a bunch of battle Cybertrucks and they all just freeze on the battlefield, then turn around and start shooting in the other direction?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I'm going the other way. I'm imagining Ukrainian forces just chucking water balloons at them, and the cars catch fire upon impact.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Or some mud, or a slightly steep incline.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Trabant>Cybertruck

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Cybertruck being used to quash freedom. Musk would have been Hitler's right hand man.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The Henry Ford of our time (except for Elon not having the mechanical skills I guess). Musk probably would take that as a compliment, but I mean it as an insult

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He would simply nazi the nuance of that analogy.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Got DANG!!!! How could I NOT upvote a pun like that???

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Was Henry Ford technical? I always thought he was, but now that I am older and our current "mavericks" are paper tigers, I wonder how much cult of personality colored our history books.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

From what I've read and watched about the man, he's not known for being an engineer, but the manager who streamlined the production and made sure his factory produced every part for his vehicles, so he isn't dependent on suppliers and contractors, and could stamp them as fast as it was humanly possible at the time. With Musk, well, I'm not sure he is even involved enough to know what corners he can safely cut except for safety regulations and QA.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Ford at least started the company he's known for, whereas Elon took Tesla over and unceremoniously squeezed out the two actual founders.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Kadyrov’s goons have an image of being fearsome warriors, but their main talent is maintaining this carefully manicured image. Other than killing/torturing defenceless civilians and prisoners, they stay well away from the actual fighting and take selfies looking fierce with their shiny new not-at-all-battleworn equipment, to the point that people refer to them as the Instagram Corps. His glee at receiving this defective mall-ninja cosplay prop that barely copes with paved roads is on brand with this. If they keep it safely away from the front and have squads of conscripts keeping mud and bugs out of its moving parts, they can take turns scowling menacingly behind the machine gun like Immortan Joe’s War Boys, and if they persuade Putin of the propaganda value of the footage, it may save them from going to the front. At least until a Ukrainian drone finds their toy and torches it. If they make the mistake of riding their new steed into battle, they’re effectively dead meat.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Cannae fuckin wait for some despot to beef it because the cybertruck somehow killed them.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I'm so glad that this guy's cat ran away from him.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

militarized upgrades

Extension cords that reach all the way back to HQ?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Just don't slam the door

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

https://youtu.be/-isSZhkAVKA?si=w_5mhFC79DJckXZ9

Better hope it only has to go on the paved streets.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

HIMARS:

lolwut

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Great! Let's hope it won't rain there! /S