this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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There are lots of things that can be put down to personal taste, however I can't let this abomination go.

I am referring to Branston Smooth.

Branston Smooth image

I love Branston Pickle, but I can't get on board with Branston paste. Is there a better example where a manufacturer made an updated version of a food that was objectively worse?

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (6 children)

This undrinkable piece of shite.

puke

Guinness Cold Brew Coffee flavour.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Someone at the Guinness Storehouse needs to get sacked and exiled from the island.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

... For not doing this earlier right? These are amazing

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Ah, that reminded me of another bizarre Guinness product I saw when I was travelling to the States.

Guinness Lager

Why would you have Guinness American Lager?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

They did do a really nice lager some years ago. It was a limited edition but rather good. Wish they'd bring that back instead of this crap.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

American here, if y’all need help bringing those responsible for that abomination to justice just holler, shit is fucked up

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Sort your own shit out first mate, fucksake lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Loved this, but unfortunately Guinness have discontinued it 😔

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I have a fourpack in my fridge. These are so god damned good, they dont have any right to be but are absolutely amazing how good this is

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)

We talking about the same thing? Thin, watery, an insult to Guinness, an insult to coffee.

This is like when Kraft bought Cadbury's and started to do mash ups nobody wanted.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Tastes so good. Guess we are just very different people. This is an amazing drink. Ill gladly accept your share of these to prevent your horror of ever encountering these again!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Haha that's a deal

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

This is like when Kraft bought Cadbury's and started to do mash ups nobody wanted.

Aha, that explains why every possible item of food has a new "Oreo" flavoured version.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

How is that different from a coffee stout?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

It's Guinness branded.

Maybe they thought that was enough. It's proper disgusting though. Not sure what they were on when they dreamt that up 😂.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oreos. Bourbons are superior in every way.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I really don't get Oreos. The biscuit doesn't taste of chocolate, and the paste just tastes of paste, making it worse than custard creams.

It just tastes "budget".

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Thing is, Oreos were the better copy of the cookies that preceded them, Hydrox. And I love Oreos.

So now I just have to try some bourbons. What brands would you recommend?

I've been watching a lot of British comedy shows lately. I want to try a sausage roll too.

But not 'absolute casserole'. That sounds a bit disgusting and messy.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Please someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think bourbons are past the point of having separate brands any more. We eat so many of them (nationally, not personally), that 40p "Happy Shopper" bourbons are basically the same as £2 Marks and Spencer ones, and are probably made in the same factory.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I'm in the US. On my last trip to the grocery store I saw that the Mt Olive brand is now selling pickle juice as its own separate product. They had little shot sized bottles and big liter jugs of it. Someone had the actual nerve to market this as a "sports drink".

It's literally on the same shelf right next to the pickles, and cost nearly twice as much.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

Okay, fuck that, but hear me out: it’s a good sports drink. Drinking a shot of pickle juice for every couple of water bottles on a day where you’re pouring sweat keeps you hydrated better than Gatorade (also good while drinking, and the sour and saltiness mixes well with tequila). There’s no reason to pay a premium for it instead of just skimming some from pickles you already have though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

That sounds grim.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I didn't know that was a thing, and now I want to unknow it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Faggots, they're just a poor man's version of Haggis. (Grew up poor eating faggots)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I want to know what this is, but I'm not sure how to Google it. Can you give me a couple keywords to include with the name?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot_(food)

They are pork meat balls, made with pork belly, bacon, if you get traditional faggots then they will also contain a bit of liver and kidney too.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The Lemmy.World slur filter is messing up the link. Try this:

https://tinyurl.com/5csdfwuv

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Princes tinned chilli.

I get Sunday evenings to myself at the moment, so I've been doing the whole sitting in front of the telly eating some shit that the wife doesn't like. I tried chilli with cheese, sour cream, and Doritos, but didn't want to cook just for myself.

I tried a tin of Princes chilli, and while it was nice enough, it's pretty much pureed.

I'd tried another brand the week before, and it was lovely, but this felt like eating baby food.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I once tried Red Bull Cola.

I am very flexible when it comes to Cola. I have my strong preference, but I'll drink other brands to when offered, with one notable exception: You'd have to pay me to drink Red Bull Cola again. They should've stuck to Energy Drinks. All their pretty flavours are nice, but that one product is an crime against my tastebuds.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I miss Virgin Cola, I remember that being one of the better colas.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Marmite. I had the displeasure as a child to mistake this for jelly when visiting relatives. It was a nasty surprise.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm hoping this is an American. I can't even imagine taking a huge spoonful thinking it's blackcurrant jelly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It looks like "stoop" and I'm Dutch. So I expected high octane sugar... It was not. To this day I'm convinced it it made from the gunk thats left after refining oil.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

They call it yeast extract.

What they don't admit is. Yeast it the nickname of an incontinent factory worker.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

How do you mistake Marmite for jelly?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

In the Netherlands we have something called stroop and this looks similar. I was very young 85 to 8 maybe) and did not know any better.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Smooth refers to how it goes down when you smoke one.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago

marshmallows. if you wanna put something on a stick and eat it around a campfire, get some salo like a normal person

[–] [email protected] -2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Mushrooms. They look vile, they smell vile, they taste vile, the texture is vile.

Mushrooms. Vile.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Sorry, I love them. Fried as part of breakfast, cooked with cream on fresh sour dough toast.

Beef and mushroom pie. So good.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I'm with you on the taste and smell. To me they smell like dirty old socks