this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 43 comments
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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

It felt appropriate to stay on theme here.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would say 45 minutes of scrolling if lemmy.world wasn't constantly under DDOS attacks

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

So true… 😣 It’s like they think it’s the main server for the entire thing.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I was shocked when I found out how common external/bleeding hemorrhoids can be(Almost 3/4 adults will have them from time to time).

Then it all clicked when I realized people sit on the toilet for 15min+, which is a major contributor to that condition.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I get hemorrhoids, it’s not from sitting for long periods. It’s due to my need for a poop bat’leth. I take Klingon sized poops.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Correct, these are most certainly, POOPS. I have Toto toilets that I bought to ensure I can flush without fear of it’s returning from Sto-vo-kor.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My wife can sit on the toilet for 45 minutes. I don't get it. I want to get on and off that thing as quickly as possible. Why do you want to hover over poo?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Not all of us have a bowel that is cooperative and timely. For some of us it is always a pitched battle of wills, a violent class struggle.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because it doesn’t all happen at once

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah, but 45 minutes? Take a break and come back or something.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'd say it's more of a revelation to me that sitting on the toilet seat itself for long periods causes hemorrhoids, than hemorrhoids being common in general.

I've been there for an hour a couple of times, I've never had it so I would never notice lol. I guess it's time to avoid it altogether.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Do your legs ever fall asleep

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Nope. Years of experience hiding in the bathroom from my kids.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

A squatty potty really helps in the department of prolonged toilet sitting.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You know a courtesy flush will take care of the aroma.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

But then how will other Klingons smell what I’m cooking?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Now do your leg that has long fell asleep

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

A Klingon doesn’t skip leg day’s.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You're supposed to hold it for 3 days, not 15 minutes!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

But, that’s how they become pine cone shaped.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Rookie numbers.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Thank you for a legit belly laugh.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Sadly, that's work for me. "You can go to the bathroom, but you have to finish these three orders first." Thanks, brain. Fuck you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Me rn (or my poop more accurately)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

this made me laugh way too much lmao

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Or you could stay, there’s no shame friend.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

COURTESY FLUSH

There, said it loud and clear so everyone can hear. Doom scroll all you want but give it a flush first please, no need to stink up the bathroom with your nasty shit stew marinating the whole time. I don't understand why people don't know this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you for giving it a name, fellow courtesy flusher.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That reminds me of the early days of R*ddit.