this post was submitted on 24 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 109 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I once got frisked at the o2 centre in London going into a comedy show and the security guard straight up grabbed my penis. We made eye contact like yup, that’s a penis

[–] [email protected] 115 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Haha the same thing happened to me, at Chicago O'Hare airport.

Before they searched me the man said I had a "suspicious package" in my "groin area". I'll never forget the man's face as he grabbed a handful of dick. Eye contact as well, it was so romantic (probably not for him, but I still had a semi so...)

[–] [email protected] 57 points 5 months ago

Lmfao the parenthesized text makes this absolute gold

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

"...and when you're a TSA Agent, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab em by the dick! You can do anything."

[–] [email protected] 48 points 5 months ago

"so are you going to finish what you started?"

[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS"

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?"

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is democracy manifest!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"That's a nice headlock, sir! I see that you know your judo well!"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

And you sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?

[–] [email protected] 79 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago

It's a good thing I posted it here

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Soda can? erection? Same thing!

[–] [email protected] 51 points 5 months ago (2 children)

He wouldn’t have caught such a beating if the erection hadn’t gotten even larger during the beating.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago

"stop resisti- wait wtf STOP ENJOYING IT"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago

THE PISTOL IS GETTING BIGGER, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

God gave you the boner that got your ass beat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Nah, that was Waluigi