Your wife is probably a secret Kakoune wizard and recognizes that your skills are decadent.

DIVORCE

immediate divorce /s

vi is more impressive when you've used ed for a few years. Nowadays, eh.

:q!

She's your ex-wife now, right?

Switch to emacs

if your wife wasn't vi-impressed, maybe she already is vi-improved ;-)

make several limes with the number 0
visual mode mark them and do g ctrl a

gets 'em every time!

:q!