this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 42 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

“After some initial trouble, you will ascend to new heights”

Edit: just realised that’s a bit dark if it was Judas’s fortune…

[–] [email protected] 33 points 7 months ago

"Hang in there! You're going to really nail your next undertaking."

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (2 children)

So long. And thanks for all the fish.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's the most layered joke I've ever come up with. Pretty proud of it, ngl.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Rightly so. I laughed at the HHGG reference and then I got the second level and mentally applauded you :-)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

Given that Chinese fortunes aren't fortunes and are usually proverbs....it'll probably be something like "You can walk on water too, if it's cold enough."

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago

"No fortune cookies for you! This is not America."

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

“That wasn’t chicken”

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

"Even the closest of friends can sometimes hold betrayal in their hearts."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

"You will reunite with a friend"
"The bad times will be over quickly"
"A sudden windfall will come your way"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

I just want to know if the loto numbers were any good.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Nobody could tell, because they had no translation.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

in these dark times, people will see their fortune in you. you are their silver lining.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

They probably weren't literate.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

🏛️🗡️✝️👉👉

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

He who goes to sleep with itchy butthole wakes up with smelly finger

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

A stitch in time saves nine.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Fortune Cookies are American, not Chinese.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 7 months ago

Yeah well so is Chinese food