270
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Edit (Feel like i need to put this up top): Some of yall think I'm intent on being a deadbeat and that I was in the "100% never want to have kids" boat and reluctantly obliged. It was a much more careful calculation than that and I decided to do it on my own. That was just for contrxt to explain my hesitancy. We planned this shit to a T from start to finish. I'm not asking for anyone to ridicule me for "fucking up". I'm asking for advice on the situation I'm in because there is no path backwards and I intend to be a baller dad regardless of how I feel about it. There are a lot of emotions you can easily force but this is not one of them. So all the dipshits telling me what I should have done before having this kid can eat a giant bag of used needles. That being said, thank you to all of the normal fucking people who can actually read a situation and offer helpful insight/advice instead of reverting to a bridge troll. I may not respond to all of the comments because of the volume but I am grateful for the support.


New dad of a 3wk old.

I always figured I'd have a kid(s) because...that's what you do right? My wife pushed me for years and wanted 5 kids. I always said we should start with 1, so here we are. I never truly wanted to have a kid for a whole list of reasons including climate change, growing instability, feeling like I already don't have time to do the things I want to do, not feeling like I have my shit together (on paper I do, but I don't feel like that), not understanding what it means to be "happy"...stuff like that.

During pregnancy, I took on essentially all household chores and made her hot breakfast before she left for work every morning at 5am. I never felt some primal compulsion to do all of this but she was struggling and I wanted to do what I could. I kept saying to myself that the paternal instinct would kick in at some point and banked on that.

When the kid was born and I held him for the first time, I felt nothing. Figured it would happen in time. 3 weeks in, I'm still on overdrive, doing essentially all chores, changing/feeding him through the night, and still feeling nothing besides growing resentment. I'm not a monster so I won't shake the kid or anything but I just feel no desire to do any of this. I always hated the sound of kids crying and wanted this kid to be different in that respect but I still hate it and my blood starts to boil the longer he cries (again, I'm not going to hurt this kid. I'm not a violent person).

The only pressure I feel to keep going is to not get arrested for neglect, and so my family/friends/colleagues dont think im a giant piece of shit. I feel no compulsion out of love for this child. I've had no "my whole world changed and I'd die for this kid" moment other than the fact that people would be real upset with me if I didn't die for him.

My wife has been struggling and I'm trying to get her to seek additional help (already sees therapist every 2 weeks) but she frequently spirals into a place where she feels like she can't do it or feels like a failure for not doing enough or direct breast feeding because he wouldn't stay awake while feeding (she's pumping like a champ. Our freezer has a gallon of milk already and im constantly playing up her wins). I keep doing what I can to calm her fears and anxieties which aren't specifically new but now have new context. I feel like if I break down at all, she won't be able to handle it and I have to constantly keep the mood/morale up because if I don't, everything will go to even deeper shit. She's the one who wanted 5 kids and I'm now the one holding it together for us. I feel like the TikTok/Instagram virus tricked her into thinking that motherhood was all beautiful flowers and spending quality time with her perfect baby but it's a lot of gross shit and hard work from recovery to breast feeding/pumping and diapers (although I'm changing 90% of the diapers). I was not nieve to any of this. I knew what it entailed.

Anyway, I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever feel any compulsion to keep going like I am aside from legal and societal pressure. I can figure it out if it will never happen, but it would make things a whole lot easier if it did. I really want to love this kid and being a dad but at this point it's a job and I hate my job even though I'm killing it in the effort game. Literally the only good thing so far is that my mom is over the moon about the kid and it's the first time I've seen her happy since my dad died 2 yrs ago.

[-] [email protected] 92 points 3 months ago

Dude has a weapon and threatened people with it and cops were like "Alllrighty mister, unfortunstely Im going to have to ask you to come with us". Why were they so gent.....

Ohhh yeah

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submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Figured I'd give yall a break from the horrors of the present day

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submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

My current build is:

  • 1080 GTX
  • i7 7600
  • 32gb DDR4
  • 512Gb SSD (my worst decision)
  • Built in 2016
  • Running great knocks on wood

Due to the outcome of the election (not getting into how I feel about that), tariffs and electronics trade is likely to be a big issue. And I keep seeing articles about how pcs and consoles are likely to have a massive jump in price (40% is the # I keep seeing).

Ive been meaning to wholesale and make a new build for a while now because any update would likely mean a new mobo which in turn would mean updates on everything else. I'm not in the best situation financially and have a baby on the way but I could totally stand to drop ~$3K on another "future proof" build.

I guess the question is, should I pull the trigger now before the new administration takes power? Assuming 40% increase, a $3k pc would be $4.2k or I stick with $3k and sacrifice the difference in power and future proofing.

The alternative would be delve into lighter and "retro" games in the future and just be content with that. There's a few "2070RTX minimum" games I'd like to play right now and it will only get worse in that respect as time moves on.

Note: not looking to discuss the new administration in any other way but this. Please no political bullshit.

9
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Im building my wife a PC and now that my SLI is useless (for a few years now), I figured I'd give her my extra GPU.

I disabled the SLI in the control panel, powered down, popped the SLI and 2nd GPU out and gave my wifes pc the extra 1080. My PC started up fine, I booted up a game, and about 10 min in, the screen froze for about 10 seconds and then appeared to restart and now I have no video output. Did I brick my gpu? Any ideas on how to proceed?

I'm only panicking a lot.

[-] [email protected] 86 points 9 months ago

"New crypto coin" is a weird way to say bribe money laundering

30
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

And then getting rekt immediately

[-] [email protected] 67 points 10 months ago

No phone aux jack conspiracy has re-entered the conversation

[-] [email protected] 151 points 11 months ago

My company called all lab staff "pandemic heroes" for coming in every day during the pandemic and taking on extra work to compensate for management and office staff who stayed home for years.

Then shortly after return to office, they closed the lab and laid off all lab staff.

65
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
[-] [email protected] 61 points 11 months ago

Its called...soaking...don't Google that

[-] [email protected] 77 points 11 months ago

My physics teacher stapled McDonalds applications to kids tests when they failed.

[-] [email protected] 103 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Chemist here: all the reds are correct but it would take so much time to explain why so many of the greens are super concerning. Every time I see this reposted it's so concerning...I should just spend the 17 minutes and save a copy pasta response of everything horribly wrong with this.

Edit: page 1 on the SDS for pure sulfur.

[-] [email protected] 62 points 1 year ago

Can't wait for the defense being:

"She said she was going to 'rebuke me in the name of Jesus' and I felt my soul was in imminent danger from this woman and her boiling cauldron of witchcraft"

24
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Trying to build a pink case for the wife that's relatively future proof. No gaming, just web browsing, music (not production), YouTube, and ms office stuff.

The problem is that I've only built two machines and this is the first time I'm doing a color scheme. Im also stuck between DDR4 and 5. I don't think she needs the power but if I don't get the 5 now I feel like I'd have to replace the mobo if she needs to upgrade.

If theres any suggestions yall have to make it more compatible, more pink, cheaper, or more powerful without spending much more, please roast me on it (don't change the case though she's set on that).

1
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Please note that I use it to learn so when I'm stumped, I go to maps and figure it out.

[-] [email protected] 141 points 1 year ago

I do like how their argument basically boils down to "You obviously don't understand how much it will cost us to clean up the giant toxic mess we spent so much money trying to hide."

8
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Hey yall, not sure if this is the right place for this, but I figured I'd give it a shot.

When I accelerate from a stop, I hear what sounds like unmuffled engine noise that sounds like it's coming from near the front of the car. It's not a complete roar like the muffler fell off but it's way louder than I'm used to. After I hit 2nd gear (automatic) the noise essentially stops and it sounds normal again. The sound can't be reproduced in neutral. I inspected what I could and the exhaust line is rusty but doesn't appear to be broken. I also don't see any issues with mileage.

Anyone have any ideas?

And if this isn't the right place, can someone direct me to the right place?

Jeep Grand Cherokee 2012 Automatic V6

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submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
15
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Built a gaming PC back in 2018 (windows 10, GTX1080, i7, eset security).

For the past year or so it wakes up every now and then and for a few months it started waking up to my logged in desktop screen. Hasnt happened for about a month or so but it still eakes up even with my mouse and keyboard disconnected. I don't do any tormenting or anything sketchy. It's a really clean machine built for gaming, YouTube, office work stuff. I don't visit any "low brow" sites (that's what my tablet (not connected to the PC) is for). It didn't start happening after any specific download that I can remember.

Anyway, I can't find anything relevant online that helps me so I figured I'd ask here if anyone knows what this is about.

[-] [email protected] 71 points 1 year ago

Bobo is a walking advertisement for planned parenthood and contraception of all kinds.

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5oap10116

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