Classroom bell rings, signaling the start of the school day.

Announcements from The President on the glorious state of the country.

Pledge Allegiance to the Flag

Pledge Allegiance to the Ten Commandments

All Students Must Submit to Daily Gender Inspection

Teachers each pull out a Palestinian Flag and stomp on it, while pledging their allegiance to Israel

Burning of the Communist Manifesto

15-minute address by Steven Crowder and Joe Rogan

All students write a letter to a white person they know, apologizing for DEI

Physical Education Power Hour: All boys must oil themselves and engage in a greeco-roman wrestling match. Girls are removed to the Vice Principle's lounge for further gender inspection.

Pep Talk by celebrity athlete and/or professional wrestler about the importance of eating raw eggs and drinking raw milk

Red Dawn Drills: Students rehearse how they will repeal an imminent invasion by Islamic Communist Far-Left Feminazis

Two-Hour Standardized Testing on Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. Students are stack ranked on the results and the lowest performing child is beaten with bags full of soap

Five minute lunch break.

Classroom Bell Rings, announcing the Four Hour School Day has ended.

Students queue for the bus to the local coal mine, where there eight hour work rotation begins.

This is why banning orginized religion is necessary.

Nobody should ever think it's acceptable for laws to reflect religion.

You know what kills me about this most? It's the King James version. They specifically put that in the bill. It had to be the King James version. The version of the Bible that has been alter the most obviously, well other than the first few I guess. Did they want to accurately transcribe the word of their god? No they wanted to make sure they use the version that King James wrote specifically to increase his power. Fascinating.

If I recall correctly Governor HotWheels, Gawd put you in that wheelchair. Feels like you should be a bit more pissed at him rather than forcing his demands on others.

You shall not bear false witness to your neighbor

That's literally all career Republicans do.

3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Including presidents or celebrity idols or money.

4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

CPAC anyone? Flag pins? Pins depicting the president? Crucifixes? Garden statues? Saint statues?

5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

Oooh, like... Presidents?

6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

7 Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Here come the recordings

8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

Solo, I guess businesses need to close on weekends, then, to accommodate the Abramic faiths.

12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Honor. Not worship, not accept abuse

13 Thou shalt not kill.

Whooo-doggie. Kashoggi?

14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Oh boy. More single parents, including those who married for money and power. Hello, Aunt Lydia.

15 Thou shalt not steal.

Here come a lot more wealthy single parents.

16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Looks like Texas will be getting special elections.

17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Well so much for Karens, man-children and plain children raised in the era of capitalism and keeping up with the Joneses.

You might want to consider a donation to the freedom from religion foundation: https://ffrf.org/

Thanks for the taxpayer expense of having this obviously unconstitutional law immediately challenged, appealed, and ultimately settled by SCOTUS. Won't it be fun if it turns out this is a new norm?

Just hoping my kid can graduate before this is officially a thing

I hope teachers come up with crazy workarounds, like Miss Honey's classroom in Matilda

Which is why last winter I didn't snowbird in FL but went to Cali instead. Met several Canadians down there, too.

Now let's figure out when to kneel during the math class!

2+4 Jesus said around 5 or 7.

Greg Abbott is unamerican because he refuses to stand for the national anthem.