That's really kind of you :)

Thank you :)

During my sobriety I've been taking something called suboxone. You could liken it to an opiate blocker, though it does have a degree of a sedative effect.

This becomes unnoticeable after a while.

2 months ago I decided to stop taking it, as it was no longer required.

And so it turns out the mild sedation was not so mild at all. I was emotionally numb to a degree that I had forgotten what either positive or negative really felt like.

It has been tough. I have no desire to return to my old life, I have no cravings. I've had a constant underlying headache from various parts of my body being incredibly tense since the beginning.

But coming back into the world full of feelings and a nervous system that's been half asleep for a decade has been really, really hard. Everything feels so intense, both emotionally and physically.

I love it. But it's hard work. I'm stuck in this "reconfiguration" stage and I think I've mindlessly said "man, today has been a hard day" every day for a few weeks now.

I've played the best music I've probably played in my life over the last 2 months. I feel like myself. I'm excited. But it's a struggle. Were I not already somewhat used to dealing with stuff like this by myself, I think I would have run back to the medicine.

No one I know in real life knows about what's happening. I just needed to get it out of my system.

Thanks for listening.

/vent

No need to apologise :) It just made me realise how much I've eased up on my old doom scrolling habit.

I only found out about what's happening from your post.

And to be honest, that works just fine for me.

That nap is a damn good idea

I'll be drumming with you in spirit lol

Have been out of the gym for 2 months-ish. There was a huge billing issue and I couldn't be fucked dealing with it.

All sorted now.

Straight there after work. Bring on the happy chemicals.

Edit: Apparently there's been a huge data breach of Google, Apple, Facebook etc passwords.

8 hours till drumkit set up!!!!!!

Yet here I am. Having to listen to you.

Congrats!

1 more sleep until I can set up the drum kit. Come onnnnnnnnnn