ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

Rules:

No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
Do not request for donations.
Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
Mark NSFW content accordingly.
No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

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I really hate livng in a world run by neurotypicals (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

28 comments fedilink hide all child comments

We are normally good at masking bc its expected of us but I am so tired of it. I'm so tired of having to pretend like I'm someone I'm not.

Then when we mess up and let our guard down or make a mistake and accidentally show people we are ND, we get dogpiled or yelled at. It sucks especially bc we sometimes don't understand social mores, so even when we are confident that we are acting the way NTs expect us to, we can end up wrong and still get yelled at.

It's awful bc we are never gonna create a more equitable society if we can't have these types of conversations with NTs. We have to show them that bring ND isn't an insult, but that's when we get yelled at or made fun of.

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[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I basically listed a bunch of reasons I think Taylor Swift could be neurodivergent on the Swiftie discord server and got completely dogpiled, even tho I did it as tactfully as possible. It happens all the time tho like when I forget something or am not on the same wavelength as my NT wife and she gets frustrated with me for not understanding something.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You shouldn't diagnose people you don't know

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

I’m sorry you had to experience that on discord. Unfortunately the internet has become a forum for everyone’s worst behavior. I think this might be a good metaphor or why masking is sort of pushed on neurodivergent individuals. Imagine the impossible task of uniformly cleaning up everyone’s behavior online. It’s probably one of the most persistent issues experienced online. Instead of changing everyone’s behavior, you change your own to avoid those types of uncomfortable situations. It’s the online version of real world masking. It’s unfortunate and really sucks and I wish it was different, but most humans are wired a certain way, and changing that wiring is equivalent to rewiring human nature, and if we could do that, the world would be a much different place.

As to the situation with your wife, I have this issue as a NT living with my NT wife and I don’t know a person alive who doesn’t. You’ll need to evaluate that situation alone because every relationship is different.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My dude, as an elder millennial living with ADHD, I feel like you diagnosing TSwift over there internet is pretty cringeworthy. When you say “… reasons I think Taylor Swift could be ND” you are basically diagnosing her which is weird. Period. Nothing to do with ADHD. Don’t go diagnosing people.

There are a couple of other things to say that just sound better. Think about 1) what you are trying to tell people and 2) why your perspective is interesting. It sounds like you are trying to talk about behaviors you see in Taylor that you identify with, and (2) you identify as neurodivergent (ADHD).

You can make the same post along those lines, and I think you would get a much better response.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I don't want you to feel like you're being dogpiled, cause I don't think anyone here is like, upset with you.

But Taylor Swift fans are like, the exact opposite kind of crowd for that type of message. You wanna find things you have in common with her, you go right ahead, no harm done at all. But Swifties react irrationally to anything they'd perceive as an attack on her. You just picked the wrong audience, is all.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sorry if my response was unhelpful. My honest suggestion is to keep trying and eventually, hopefully, you’ll be able to find a group of people who appreciate who you are.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Thanks. I didn't take it that way. I found the /r/ADHD discord and the people are much more accepting and said I didn't do anything wrong and its the Swifties fault for taking it the wrong way.

It guess I can't say anything that could possibly taken as an insult to Taylor Swift. Which somehow makes it suck even more bc I thought I found a place where I fit in (as a Swiftie myself) but I guess I was wrong.