if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
the linguistic angle here is genuinely fascinating, and relevant to a lot of this discussion. i think that even when used as discourse markers there's an amount of gender that remains attached, but i see what you're saying
i have to say though, that isn't the biggest issue the post was about. it was about being actually called a dude or a guy by people. a lot of the discussion here was about discourse markers but the og post is about people saying like. "hey dude, i'm not misgendering you" in reference to calling a trans woman "this guy" (real example!). very different problem, though i do appreciate your comment for putting a lot of ideas into words