169
dude is not gender neutral (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net
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if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have

same goes double for the word guy.

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[–] 30 points 2 years ago (2 children)

oh shit oh fuck i call any plural group of people "guys" when im working and addressing multiple customers

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  • [–] [S] 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

    when it's a plural group of people i don't think it's as big a deal, but it would be good to find an alternative

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  • [–] 19 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    angry-hex we need an american version of "comrade"

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  • [–] 17 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Funny enough a plural group of people being addressed as β€œguys” or β€œdudes” is the original source of this discourse, because early feminists were annoyed by being implicitly excluded in the language of people at work and school

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  • [–] [S] 11 points 2 years ago*

    doing it to a group is implicitly excluding women, but doing it to a specific women is explicitly misgendering. personally i wish neither would happen, but when it's the former it's something that happens to cis women too, and while it sucks it's not the worst thing in the world, whereas the latter feels really bad (to me, i understand if others feel differently)

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    From what I recall, referring to a group of people as β€œyou guys” is a regional thing. I remember in that NY times dialect test that it was one of the questions that nailed me. That said, if I’m referring to group solely of women, it does seem odd, so I usually use party people or peeps in this situation. Using folks or y’all would get weird looks here.

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