this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
1756 points (98.6% liked)

Today I Learned

17743 readers
167 users here now

What did you learn today? Share it with us!

We learn something new every day. This is a community dedicated to informing each other and helping to spread knowledge.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must begin with TIL. Linking to a source of info is optional, but highly recommended as it helps to spark discussion.

** Posts must be about an actual fact that you have learned, but it doesn't matter if you learned it today. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.**



Rule 2- Your post subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your post subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Posts and comments which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding non-TIL posts.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-TIL posts using the [META] tag on your post title.



Rule 7- You can't harass or disturb other members.

If you vocally harass or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.

For further explanation, clarification and feedback about this rule, you may follow this link.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.

Unless included in our Whitelist for Bots, your bot will not be allowed to participate in this community. To have your bot whitelisted, please contact the moderators for a short review.



Partnered Communities

You can view our partnered communities list by following this link. To partner with our community and be included, you are free to message the moderators or comment on a pinned post.

Community Moderation

For inquiry on becoming a moderator of this community, you may comment on the pinned post of the time, or simply shoot a message to the current moderators.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Absolutely, since women generally are the weaker of the two they don't use violence/physical force a lot of the time, their weapon of choice is emotional abuse.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Of the 13 women I've dated, 8 were physically violent with me. I've been slapped, punched, kicked, scratched, bitten, spat on, hit with blunt objects, and in one case burned by women I was with. And I suspect that number is as low as it is because the violence came mostly from women I was going long-term with; flings and one night stands were less likely to hit.

I never struck any of them. Not once.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Of the five I’ve dated, none have used violence except my last ex, who started slapping me once during a drunken argument. So one out of five I guess.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Damn, sorry to hear that.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 9 months ago

That tracks with what I've read. Women are responsible for most of the nonreciprocal domestic violence cases, by a whopping 70% or some such.

Cowards are cowards, they hit people when they know they won't be hit back.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Violence and physical abuse is always also emotional abuse.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

That is not necessarily true. Yes, women are generally weaker than men, but individual variation means a woman can be stronger than a man.

Aside from that, the difference in strength doesn't matter that much- no matter how much my mom hit me, I never really had the desire to hit her back. Even when I was a teenager and could have wrecked her, I didn't want to. Then on top of that, there's the very real problem of authorities getting involved, they're going to assume the male is the aggressor, really limits your available options...

It was the same for my dad. I still remember their last fight before the divorce. They were cleaning up after dinner, and my dad dropped the ice cube tray, scattering ice across the floor. This set my mom off and she started screaming at him about how worthless he was, and she tried to kick him in the gut. He caught her foot, purely out of self defense, but that threw her off balance and she fell on the cat dishes, which led to some pretty gnarly bruising... I didn't see the whole fight, I was upstairs, but I heard it going on and came down just in time to see my mom sitting on the floor (sobbing, like she hadn't started the whole thing) and my dad standing there with a look of "I can't take this anymore"

Anywho, the point of all that was, it's not about physical strength - an abuser has a meanness that their victim(s) lack, and that matters far more.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Also mental abuse, in the form of concrete gaslighting.