[CW: internalized homophobia, misogyny, sex] Had a really complicated journey with this myself where I had partially worked through my internalized homophobia and started sleeping with men in a fulfilling way. At the same time, I felt complicit in misogyny participating in 'heterosexual attraction' as a 'man' which led me to fully embrace homosexuality. Later on, I realized 1) I am not a man, 2) I was mainly interested in women out of desire to be them, and 3) how to start disentangling the violent mythology of/approach to sexuality given by patriarchal society from actual sexuality. As Anuradha Ghandy points out, most people will mainly experience heterosexual attraction so the issue can't be with heterosexuality itself, it has to be with how heterosexuality is constructed. This made me realize that non-exploitative/problematic heterosexualities could exist at the same time I was realizing my interactions with women were not exactly heterosexual anymore. At which point, I had a pretty fulfilling saphic relationship but have since gone back to being with men and wood elves.