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this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
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Cw sexual assault, venting
spoiler
so someone in my trans support group befriended me and over months, crossed my boundaries as far as a romantic relationship goes. Like, they would make romantic overtures, and I would turn them down. Then they would like... argue with me that actually it could work. I myself am v non confrontational and with pushback, would cave and be like I guess I'm open to it but I don't feel anything. CW Ulstimately, this led to a situation though where I was in a hotel room with them and they pressured me into cuddling, then they were kissing me, touching me inappropriately, I was tipsy and high and I didn't know what to do in the moment... they were using what was a vulnerable situation to take advantage. They even recognized like halfway through this that they could tell it was making me uncomfortable, then they kept going.This happened a few weeks ago. I felt weird about it bit ultimately blamed myself for not being more firm. For like, freezing ans not saying no, but trying to communicate with body language at the time.
Anyway, so last week I find out that basically, no, they aren't a bumbling idiot who can't take social cues, they recognized that they were breaking my boundaries and trying to convince me to stick around for months. They told this to a mutual friend (who has now broken contact). They made me feel fucking crazy. They made me feel like all this time this was my fault they weren't getting the message.
I feel intensely violated. I feel incredibly angry, betrayed, ... this person showed up when I was literally at my most vulnerable and tried to fucking date me after I said NO multiple times. Tbh I feel like shit and I can't think about anything else. I can't work. I just stare at my computer really. Like, I don't wanna feel this way, I don't wanna worry about this bullshit, I want to transition in peace. I did tell the trans support group coordinator though and they have been removed, because they were also basically treating this support group like a potential dating pool for trans women who were significantly younger than them. They themselves were transfem but they also gave intense chaser vibes. I didn't recognize it at the time though, which I feel stupid for.
I am taking a mental health day today and I think I'm gonna go thrift shopping and stuff. Idk. Sorry for the vent. It's like all i can really thinknabout and tbh they know where I live and I'm kinda scared they're gonna show up at my house too...||
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. what an absolutely disgusting way to treat someone. something like this is so complicated and shitty that having days where you need to just be to yourself makes sense. send warm vibes to you and hoping you never see that person again
💛 thank you so much