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"Hi! I don't have boundaries because I was raised by an emotionally abusive parent!" (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 week ago* by to c/chat@hexbear.net
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Oh my god I want to scream "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!?" at my sibling.

He did "the talk" at me. Of course as all the previous ones it was "You WILL let Michelle violate your boundaries. You WILL let her speak over you and stomp on your personal aspirations."

Oh and don't forget constantly moving the goal posts of "yOu CaN't Be InDePeNdEnT" all of whom are:

-Shit I can already do but the goal posts are constantly moved so "Oh look! You actually can't do this thing!" -"Michelle does all that stuff for you! No, you're not allowed to interrogate as to why that's the case. No, you can't learn and then do these things on your own. How else are you supposed to be absolutely 👌fucked👌 when Michelle finally dies?"

Cue in the bit where my sibling responds with "Well I let Michelle have access to all of my finances and stuff!"

At which point my jaw metaphorically dropped. I probably did that "blinking of disbelief" thing.

Like HOLY SHIT! Dear god that's horrifying!

Helping out with financial stuff is one thing. Letting someone have full unfettered access to your finances is another.

It's like the phone password sharing thing some romantic couples do. That is some full on evil maid level shit!

Relationship goes south, you are utterly fucked.

Relationship could be straight out of a romance novel with Good Soviet Values™ and that's still incredibly creepy and invasive.

All of you are going to the Gulag, and you're learning how to set and enforce healthy boundaries. Fucking hell.

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[–] 22 points 1 week ago* (4 children)

How are people supposed to learn healthy boundaries when corporations violate them all the time.

Modern parents are really fucked up with it too. Whenever I see parents my age track and monitor their kids to the level of having gps tracking on their phones and access to chat logs I'm thinking "Holy shit, this is tech we used to freak out about abusive boyfriends having."

I've asked parents who do this if they're worried when their kid grows up they won't understand healthy boundaries with their partners because they're used to it from childhood. It's always "Oh it's different when I do it, I'm their parent." It's like yeah dude thats not the point.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 days ago

    Like 15 years ago, I managed a phone store and we had so many people coming in with that type of shit. I'm talking like multiple women every week walking into the store for help because a stalker or harasser had compromised their phone and is tracking them. I ended up on a first name basis with some local swine (ACAB includes dispatchers) because so many creepy men came in asking for advice on how to commit this felony and I had to call it in since I was the manager.

    The CWA used to tell you that you were essentially a mandatory reporter. There used to be a hotline for connecting them with a Fed whose job it was to investigate these things.

    All of this is gone now, and the cell phone company now offers all those features for free with the monthly subscription. doggirl-gloom

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  • [–] [S] 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

    Michelle wanted my to install the "life360" malware on my phone.

    No thank you! Already have the likes of the NSA tracking me. I don't need to add my abusive "mom" on top of that.

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