i mean if my partner of 10 years were both irreligious i would feel pretty weirded out that he would a make a big life decision like this without any indication

though i doubt this lady would have such a big reaction if this guy became a Episcopalian or something

Maybe I'm an overly obnoxious atheist but I would definitely be wary if someone I was close to converted to Christianity. Adult converts to Christianity have been some of the most reactionary people I've ever known - misogynist, LGBTphobic, dominionist, the works.

That’d be a no from me. I’m not being with a misogynist who believes in sky daddy. And yes, all of those religions count.

Call me an overly obnoxious atheist. I don’t care. We aren’t fucking.

I'd absolutely break up with someone who converted to any of the abrahamic religions in adulthood. There's a reason the holy texts of those religions are used to justify some of the worst things humanity is capable of, and it's because the god of the abrahamic religions is depicted as explicitly approving of most of them. I'm not out on the streets haranguing anyone but I am also not okay with being in a relationship with someone who decides, as an adult, that that entity is worthy of worship.

"Obnoxious atheist".

You know what results from obnoxious atheists? Some people feel uncomfortable, mainly online. Many but not all of them horrible people who wish to push their own religion on others and resent anyone doing verbally to them what they do without thinking as a right "because they care about you not going to hell" to people every day of their lives. No mass violence. No honor murders. No community gatherings trying to bully the person back to non-belief. No organized shunning. No getting fired from their job. No being denounced as evil from the pulpit in front of the community to stir up hate against them. You know what normal religious structures and their people have done for centuries? Wars, honor killings, mass murder, centuries of brutal oppression of women, LGBTQ+ folks and so on. All in their name.

I mean let me reference Mao's no right to speak here. These people demand insulation from being challenged, from having what they say challenged and from being forced to study their beliefs and assertions critically rather than parroting what's said from the pulpit and worshiping their book. They demand atheists be silent as they demand women be silent because they have an order they like and any disruption to that causes them pain in the form of having to tolerate dissent, non-believers, and uncomfortable questions. And you're perpetuating it by using phrases like this.

Are there reactionary atheists who are scum who should be ? Absolutely. Is it because they're an atheist? No. It's because they're reactionary scum. Yet just as any uppity woman who stands up for herself is branded a b*tch and other things to keep women silent there is an effort to brand any uppity atheist who speaks too stridently as "obnoxious". I'm sure actually obnoxious atheists exist, perhaps they are streamers who go to a church or mosque and attempt to bait the believers there as they exit their service but you know what? Religious people have those too. They go to conventions, college campuses, etc and record and bait people with incendiary things so it's not really an atheist monopoly or trait and you're perpetuating a slander the religious use to silence non-believers.

Why does this stereotype and slur exist only towards atheists when "obnoxious" religious people stand outside anime conventions telling women especially that they're going to burn in hell and so on? When "obnoxious" religious people stand outside reproductive health clinics screaming at women and trying to dox them for exercising choice? One is a group of people reacting to oppression, sometimes perhaps with the wrong targets true, the other is the group that has historically oppressed people and imposed itself upon the society and all within it to obey.

How many atheists have killed their partners for converting to religion? Maybe not zero but then ask how many religious people, monotheists, Abrahamic types especially have killed their partners, children, neighbors for becoming an atheist? So many we could scarcely count. This isn't distant history. How many gay or trans kids have been kicked out because of a religion? vs how many kids have been kicked out by atheist parents for adopting a religion?

Equating these as equally bad is willfully spreading lies and using the phrase "obnoxious atheist" here is doing just that.

You know that "isn't there someone you didn't ask?" meme with Jesus? Well that's the truth of it. With a deeply religious person you're not just in a relationship with them but their deity and their earthly representatives (the ones they listen to anyway). So it's no longer "let me think about it", it's "hmm let me think and consult my religious texts and maybe my religious leader".